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July 2025

Featuring Elly Clutch
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“We hope all Americans are concerned about our flawed electoral system. So as a gesture of protest in the upcoming Presidential election, we are asking women, college students, gays, union members, environmentalists, African Americans and Hispanics to abs

“We hope all Americans are concerned about our flawed electoral system. So as a gesture of protest in the upcoming Presidential election, we are asking women, college students, gays, union members, environmentalists, African Americans and Hispanics to abs...

Blow-Up Doll

John telephoned a mail-order sex doll merchant and said, “I want to order a blow-up doll, but I want one that’s truly realistic.” “I have just the thing,” the supplier said, “our Real-Life Tina. She’s so realistic, you can’t tell the difference between Tina and a real woman.” John ordered the doll. As the supplier...

Lawyers Vs. Sperm

Question: What’s the difference between a lawyer and sperm? Answer: Sperm has a one in a million chance of turning into a human being....

Don’t Miss Me

A man walked into a pharmacy. “I’d like six condoms, miss,” he said, addressing the woman behind the counter. “Don’t ‘miss’ me,” she snapped. “Okay,” the man replied. “I guess you’d better make it seven then.”...

Stranded

Tim and Dean were stranded in the desert. They hadn’t eaten in days. As they crawled in the hot sun, Tim saw a vulture’s rotting carcass crawling with maggots. “Food!” exclaimed Tim. He sat down to eat the rotting flesh. “I’m not eating that,” said Dean in disgust. Soon Tim began violently throwing up the...

Tees

After playing 18 holes at a golf course in rural Ireland, Rory McIlroy drove his new Mercedes to a gas station to fuel up. An attendant greeted him in a typical Irish manner. “Top o’ the morning to ya.” As Rory got out of the car, two tees fell from his pocket. The attendant stooped...

Giving Good Head

Question: Why did God Almighty give man a brain? Answer: Nobody knows....

Good Things Come In Threes

Is there anything technology can’t do? A new phone app is making threeways something that could actually happen—routinely! 3nder (pronounced thrinder), created by London-based Dimo Trifonov, allows users to search for partners down for a ménage à trois. All you need is a Facebook profile, and you’re good to go. Like the Tinder app, 3nder...

Penis Envy

Sure, your penis is talented, but not as talented as Tim Patch’s. Patch, an Australian artist who goes by Pricasso, creates about a thousand portraits and landscapes a year using only his penis, scrotum and butt. For over a decade he’s wowed crowds at Sexpo Australia, and now the world is finally getting a boner...

Club Girl: Felix Roxx

Felix Roxx has some etiquette advice: Put away your cell phones, gentlemen. “I really don’t like it when people sit at the stage looking at their phones while a pretty girl is dancing,” admonishes the 31- year-old. “If you’re a good boy, I promise you’ll have more fun.” A crowd favorite at Larry’s pussy palace...

Dumb As Shit

With May proms right around the corner, students across the country are marching off to sex ed assemblies to, presumably, learn about sex. Unfortunately, chances are that these kids—not to mention taxpayers— are getting totally screwed. According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 22 states and Washington, D.C., require sex education. And hold...

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