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November 2025

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Stranded

Tim and Dean were stranded in the desert. They hadn’t eaten in days. As they crawled in the hot sun, Tim saw a vulture’s rotting carcass crawling with maggots. “Food!” exclaimed Tim. He sat down to eat the rotting flesh. “I’m not eating that,” said Dean in disgust. Soon Tim began violently throwing up the...

Tees

After playing 18 holes at a golf course in rural Ireland, Rory McIlroy drove his new Mercedes to a gas station to fuel up. An attendant greeted him in a typical Irish manner. “Top o’ the morning to ya.” As Rory got out of the car, two tees fell from his pocket. The attendant stooped...

Giving Good Head

Question: Why did God Almighty give man a brain? Answer: Nobody knows....

Good Things Come In Threes

Is there anything technology can’t do? A new phone app is making threeways something that could actually happen—routinely! 3nder (pronounced thrinder), created by London-based Dimo Trifonov, allows users to search for partners down for a ménage à trois. All you need is a Facebook profile, and you’re good to go. Like the Tinder app, 3nder...

Penis Envy

Sure, your penis is talented, but not as talented as Tim Patch’s. Patch, an Australian artist who goes by Pricasso, creates about a thousand portraits and landscapes a year using only his penis, scrotum and butt. For over a decade he’s wowed crowds at Sexpo Australia, and now the world is finally getting a boner...

Club Girl: Felix Roxx

Felix Roxx has some etiquette advice: Put away your cell phones, gentlemen. “I really don’t like it when people sit at the stage looking at their phones while a pretty girl is dancing,” admonishes the 31- year-old. “If you’re a good boy, I promise you’ll have more fun.” A crowd favorite at Larry’s pussy palace...

Dumb As Shit

With May proms right around the corner, students across the country are marching off to sex ed assemblies to, presumably, learn about sex. Unfortunately, chances are that these kids—not to mention taxpayers— are getting totally screwed. According to the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 22 states and Washington, D.C., require sex education. And hold...

Strongman

The owner of a local bar believed himself to be the strongest man around. To prove it, the bar offered a standing $2,000 bet: The owner would squeeze a lemon until all of its juice ran out into a glass, then toss the juiced lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze out one more...

Wisconsin Trees

Question: Why do trees in Wisconsin lean to the south? Answer: Because Minnesota blows and Illinois sucks....

Definitely Maybe

A third-grade teacher said, “Class, today I would like one of you to use definitely in a sentence.” A little girl raised her hand and said, “The sky is definitely blue.” “Not exactly,” the teacher corrected. “Sometimes the sky is gray, and at night it’s black. Can anyone else use the word definitely in a...

Irishman Vs. Mormon

An Irishman was seated next to a Mormon on a flight from London. When the plane reached cruising altitude, the flight attendant came around to take drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant asked the Mormon if he’d like a drink. The Irishman...

Mentally Challenged Rape Suspect

Question: How do you recognize a mentally challenged rape suspect? Answer: He steps out of the police lineup and shouts, “That’s the girl!”...

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