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humor

Sperm Bank Holdup

A gunman wearing a mask walked into a sperm bank and ordered the nurse to open the vault. “But, sir,” she said. “We’re just a sperm bank. There’s no money back there.” “Do it now,” he yelled. The nurse opened the vault, which was filled with test tube vials. “Take one and drink it,” demanded...
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Bubba’s Application Form

An employment clerk in New Orleans was reviewing Bubba’s application form. Noting the figures “124” and “134” in the spaces reserved for “Age of Father, if Living,” and “Age of Mother, if Living,” he asked in amazement, “Hey, Bubba. Are your parents really that old?” “They would be, if living.”...
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Letter From a Leper

Question: How do you know that you’ve received a letter from a leper? Answer: His tongue is on the envelope. ...
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Heart-to-Heart

On her first visit home from college, Mary was having a heart-to-heart with her mother. “I have to tell you,” Mary confessed, “I lost my virginity the day I got there.” “It was bound to happen,” said her mother. “I just hope it was a romantic and pleasurable experience for you.” “The first 11 guys...
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Satan Is My Copilot

Even those who avoid the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a nice whiff of bullshit when a segment from Kenneth Copeland’s Believer’s Voice of Victory recently went viral. Copeland, truly one of today’s most repugnant holy rollers, sat down with fellow fork-tongue Jesse Duplantis to discuss why tax-free private jets are a church must: Televangelists need...
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Somewhere, An Egret Cried

Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at least IRL. Sexual tensions at #BundyEroticFanFic, however, ignited immediately. Ryan and Ammon Bundy, the two brothers at the center of the group...
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Club Girl: Melanie

After spending the last six months traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Las Vegas, our 25-year-old Club Girl decided to plant her high heels squarely in Sin City, where you can find her dancing at Larry Flynt’s HUSTLER Club, Las Vegas. “Personality is what makes a very good dancer great. Also how much of...
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Mean Tweets

Obama’s done it; kids do it; even Canadians do it. It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” to drip its way through pop culture. Thing is, most porn stars don’t give a shit what people think (just one of many reasons why they’re porn stars and you aren’t). Still, there...
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XXX Mashup

There’s too much wanky guitar music to make it strictly educational, too much British accented voice-over to make it porn. A video clip titled “Camera Inside of the Vagina During Sex in Missionary Position” has been driving people nuts precisely because it bends expected categories. On December 29, 2015, a full eight months after it...
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