Bits & Pieces

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Somewhere, An Egret Cried

Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at least IRL. Sexual tensions at #BundyEroticFanFic, however, ignited immediately. Ryan and Ammon Bundy, the two brothers at the center of the group...

Club Girl: Melanie

After spending the last six months traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Las Vegas, our 25-year-old Club Girl decided to plant her high heels squarely in Sin City, where you can find her dancing at Larry Flynt’s HUSTLER Club, Las Vegas. “Personality is what makes a very good dancer great. Also how much of...

Mean Tweets

Obama’s done it; kids do it; even Canadians do it. It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” to drip its way through pop culture. Thing is, most porn stars don’t give a shit what people think (just one of many reasons why they’re porn stars and you aren’t). Still, there...

XXX Mashup

There’s too much wanky guitar music to make it strictly educational, too much British accented voice-over to make it porn. A video clip titled “Camera Inside of the Vagina During Sex in Missionary Position” has been driving people nuts precisely because it bends expected categories. On December 29, 2015, a full eight months after it...

Ventriloquist

A ventriloquist was telling dumb blonde jokes onstage when a member of his audience, a young fair-haired woman, stood up to complain. “I’ve heard just about enough of your dumb blonde jokes,” she shouted. “What makes you think you can stereotype women this way? Tell me, what does the color of a person’s hair have...

Whiskers

When she turned 70, Gladys decided to go through some old boxes. She climbed up into the attic, her cat Whiskers following at her heels. In one of the boxes Gladys found a lamp. She started polishing it and whoosh—out popped a genie offering her three wishes. Immediately Gladys wished to live in a beautiful...

The Dentist

“I’ve fallen head over heels in love with my dentist,” Bambie confided to her best friend. “I’m going to propose to him tonight!” Her friend’s jaw dropped. “What the fuck!” she exclaimed, astonished. ” You’re beautiful, you’re young, and you have dozens of men who worship the ground you walk on. You could have absolutely...

Nudist Beach

Question: How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach? Answer: It’s not hard....

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