With the COVID vaccine rolling out, a sex-starved populace could very well be humping up a storm by July. But what will it really take to get back to fucking normal?
Trying to get laid was rough business last year. The lockdowns imposed to combat the spread of the dreaded COVID-19 virus and the gnawing fear that we were all about to die forced the cocks and clits of many Americans into hibernation. Some of us haven’t felt the touch of another person or engaged in any wet and wild nipple-biting shenanigans for over 12 months. But now that there’s a vaccine and more states are starting to open up, it seems likely that a sex-deprived nation is hot, horny and hellbent on a slutty summer.
So, buckle up, kids. A sexually frustrated society is bursting at the seams and eagerly waiting to make up for lost tickle time. We are likely entering the Summer of Lust, so toss the sweat pants in the trash, shave those gnarly pubes and try to get in a couple of push-ups. It might be time to fuck again soon!
President Biden would like the country to open up by the Fourth of July. He’s trying to cut through the malarkey, get Americans vaccinated and put them back in the saddle again. For some, this means going back to work and finally seeing family for the first time since last March. Others—maybe even some of you—don’t care about any of that; they see the vaccine as a glorious green light at the beginning of a very wet, throbbing poon portal into a post-COVID coitus carnival. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up for the Horniest Show on Earth!
Dust off those baby-makers, America. According to Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, certified sex addiction therapist, couples therapist and founder of the group-therapy practice Modern Intimacy, our naughty nation could see a massive uptick in informal fornication now that life is starting to return to normal.
“It seems there are many people waiting to get back into the dating and sexual scene, like a cannonball, once they are fully immunized,” Balestrieri tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “For those who took extra precautions and have been waiting to hit the sheets with a partner again, it is probably safe to assume there will be some making up for lost time.”