Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Latest Articles
Feature
12 Lays of Christmas
The assignment: to review hundreds of sex toys in an effort to hand-select for our readers the best, hottest XXX gifts of the season. Our hard-working staff devoted umpteen hours of research to achieve...
Feature
How to Be a Porn Star…Director…Agent
IF YOU THINK PORN IS ALL ABOUT SHOWING UP AND FUCKING, THEN YOU’RE DEEPLY MISINFORMED. THE TRUTH IS, ADULT ENTERTAINMENT—WHETHER YOU’RE A PERFORMER, DIRECTOR OR AGENT— IS...
Feature
Kimber Kicks Ass
Kimber Woods is about to kick a man’s ass—and he will be thankful for it. As porn starlet and third-degree karate black belt Woods prepares to put her martial-arts skills to the test, her fists punch...
Politics
Every Voting System Hacked
There’s a reason why I’ve been ranting about the insecurity of computerized voting and tabulation for nearly 15 years: Every single system in all 50 states can be hacked and results...
Politics
Be Kind to Strangers
Tis the season to mark the virgin birth of the baby Jesus—clearly the ultimate example of an undocumented immigrant—and to issue a timely warning to President Donald Trump: Your constant bashing of the...
Bits & Pieces
Royals Talk Dirty
Princess Diana was a living saint adored by millions. Then she was assassinated as part of an Illuminati conspiracy to assure Charles’ ascension to the throne. Or not. We may never know for sure. Until then...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Donald Trump Cancels 2020 Election
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In shocking early morning tweets yesterday, President Trump announced that he was canceling the 2020 elections because “No...
Politics
Documenting Disaster
Republicans like John McCain, Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney once offered plans to help curb the effects of man-made greenhouse gases causing global warming. That ended in 2010, when the U.S. Supreme Court’s...
Politics
Give Peace a Chance
The best thing about President Donald Trump, at least up to this point, is that he doesn’t seem willing to go to war with Russia. That’s a good thing because Russia still possesses almost half of the...
Bits & Pieces
Glitch Porn
Is it scrambled pay-per-view sex? Corrupt video? An acid flashback? Introducing glitch porn, a new lo-fi obsession in an HD world. Gritty, grainy and distorted, glitch porn borrows heavily from vaporwave, an...
Bits & Pieces
Long Live Sex!
Do you know what telomeres are? They are about to improve your sex life. If at times it seems like getting your lady into bed involves cajoling or bargaining or standing on your fucking head, then this news is...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Benedict Arnold Is Innocent
“It was a 20-minute meeting mainly about adoptions and the weather. Nothing came of it.” —General Benedict Arnold WASHINGTON, D.C.—A “treasure...
Bits & Pieces
Dick-ometrics
You’ve heard of biometrics, but one live-cam site is taking identification protocols far beyond retinal scans, into extremely intimate territory. CamSoda requests that its subscribers log in with their dick...
Bits & Pieces
Prison Perks
Rise of the machines? Seems like it was only a matter of time before drones made humans obsolete—specifically the brave men and women who keister drugs and SIM cards into penitentiaries. As reported by The...
Feature
Sick Nick
NICK SWARDSON FIRST ROLLED HIS WAY INTO OUR HEARTS AS STREET MEAT IN RENO 911! AND CONTINUES TO BARE HIS PLUCKY SOUL IN ADAM SANDLER’S FINEST FLICKS. RENOWNED FOR RAUNCHY TRUTHS VIA GAY ROBOT, SWARDSON’S...
Feature
Along Came Poly
If monogamy works, why is the divorce rate pushing 50%? Today enjoying a relationship with multiple partners is more accepted than ever. It’s called polyamory, and it promises love without limits. It was...
Politics
Watergate Pales in Comparison
I rise today, Mr. Speaker, to call for the impeachment of the President of the United States of America!” Representative Al Green (D-Texas) was a lonely voice on the floor of the U.S....
Politics
Arming a Villain
What’s up with Donald Trump and Saudi Arabia? And why has the mainstream media ignored this incredibly cozy connection? Before being elected President, Trump pledged to combat Islamic extremism, and yet...
Bits & Pieces
Fap to the Future
Porn lovers, our prayers have finally been answered—no longer must we lay our dignity on the line to masturbate in front of the computer screen. Relax and enjoy your wank without the constant fear of someone...
