Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

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Latest Articles

Man Down: Dick Drama
Bits & Pieces

Man Down: Dick Drama

An erect penis can get into a lot of trouble under the wrong circumstances. No, you cannot break your dick, but there’s still a whole lot of horrible, cringe-worthy stuff that can happen to it with or...
Panties For Profit
Bits & Pieces

Panties For Profit

A former cleaner from London, England, is raking in the pounds. What’s her secret? Good old-fashioned grit, know-how and a knack for turning dirty laundry into cash money. Financial domination is well-worn...
12 Lays of Christmas
Feature

12 Lays of Christmas

The assignment: to review hundreds of sex toys in an effort to hand-select for our readers the best, hottest XXX gifts of the season. Our hard-working staff devoted umpteen hours of research to achieve...
How to Be a Porn Star…Director…Agent
Feature

How to Be a Porn Star…Director…Agent

IF YOU THINK PORN IS ALL ABOUT SHOWING UP AND FUCKING, THEN YOU’RE DEEPLY MISINFORMED. THE TRUTH IS, ADULT ENTERTAINMENT—WHETHER YOU’RE A PERFORMER, DIRECTOR OR AGENT— IS...
Kimber Kicks Ass
Feature

Kimber Kicks Ass

Kimber Woods is about to kick a man’s ass—and he will be thankful for it.  As porn starlet and third-degree karate black belt Woods prepares to put her martial-arts skills to the test, her fists punch...
Politics

Every Voting System Hacked

There’s a reason why I’ve been ranting about the insecurity of computerized voting and tabulation for nearly 15 years: Every single system in all 50 states can be hacked and results...
Politics

Be Kind to Strangers

Tis the season to mark the virgin birth of the baby Jesus—clearly the ultimate example of an undocumented immigrant—and to issue a timely warning to President Donald Trump: Your constant bashing of the...
Royals Talk Dirty
Bits & Pieces

Royals Talk Dirty

Princess Diana was a living saint adored by millions. Then she was assassinated as part of an Illuminati conspiracy to assure Charles’ ascension to the throne. Or not. We may never know for sure. Until then...
The Real Fake News: Donald Trump Cancels 2020 Election
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Donald Trump Cancels 2020 Election

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In shocking early morning tweets yesterday, President Trump announced that he was canceling the 2020 elections because “No...
Politics

Documenting Disaster

Republicans like John McCain, Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney once offered plans to help curb the effects of man-made greenhouse gases causing global warming. That ended in 2010, when the U.S. Supreme Court’s...
Politics

Give Peace a Chance

The best thing about President Donald Trump, at least up to this point, is that he doesn’t seem willing to go to war with Russia. That’s a good thing because Russia still possesses almost half of the...
Glitch Porn
Bits & Pieces

Glitch Porn

Is it scrambled pay-per-view sex? Corrupt video? An acid flashback? Introducing glitch porn, a new lo-fi obsession in an HD world. Gritty, grainy and distorted, glitch porn borrows heavily from vaporwave, an...
Long Live Sex!
Bits & Pieces

Long Live Sex!

Do you know what telomeres are? They are about to improve your sex life. If at times it seems like getting your lady into bed involves cajoling or bargaining or standing on your fucking head, then this news is...
The Real Fake News: Benedict Arnold Is Innocent
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Benedict Arnold Is Innocent

“It was a 20-minute meeting mainly about adoptions and the weather. Nothing came of it.” —General Benedict Arnold WASHINGTON, D.C.—A “treasure...
Dick-ometrics
Bits & Pieces

Dick-ometrics

You’ve heard of biometrics, but one live-cam site is taking identification protocols far beyond retinal scans, into extremely intimate territory. CamSoda requests that its subscribers log in with their dick...
Prison Perks
Bits & Pieces

Prison Perks

Rise of the machines? Seems like it was only a matter of time before drones made humans obsolete—specifically the brave men and women who keister drugs and SIM cards into penitentiaries. As reported by The...
Sick Nick
Feature

Sick Nick

NICK SWARDSON FIRST ROLLED HIS WAY INTO OUR HEARTS AS STREET MEAT IN RENO 911! AND CONTINUES TO BARE HIS PLUCKY SOUL IN ADAM SANDLER’S FINEST FLICKS. RENOWNED FOR RAUNCHY TRUTHS VIA GAY ROBOT, SWARDSON’S...
Along Came Poly
Feature

Along Came Poly

If monogamy works, why is the divorce rate pushing 50%? Today enjoying a relationship with multiple partners is more accepted than ever. It’s called polyamory, and it promises love without limits. It was...
Politics

Watergate Pales in Comparison

I rise today, Mr. Speaker, to call for the impeachment of the President of the United States of America!” Representative Al Green (D-Texas) was a lonely voice on the floor of the U.S....
Politics

Arming a Villain

What’s up with Donald Trump and Saudi Arabia? And why has the mainstream media ignored this incredibly cozy connection? Before being elected President, Trump pledged to combat Islamic extremism, and yet...
Fap to the Future
Bits & Pieces

Fap to the Future

Porn lovers, our prayers have finally been answered—no longer must we lay our dignity on the line to masturbate in front of the computer screen. Relax and enjoy your wank without the constant fear of someone...