Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Feature
Resist: How to be an Effective Activist
If you are frustrated, depressed or angry at the ass-backward triumph of Trump, it’s time to get out of your funk by doing something. Signing another lame online petition before...
Politics
Picking a Fight
Fascism begins with blaming the stranger for your problems. And it works, or Donald Trump wouldn’t be President. Of course, the brash billionaire benefited from two interrelated campaign promises: to erect a...
Bits & Pieces
Sex Doll Brothel
Ever been with your girlfriend and thought, I wish she didn’t talk, didn’t smile, didn’t blink, didn’t move without assistance and didn’t ever go to the bathroom? Then you need a sex doll because no...
Bits & Pieces
XXX Marks the Spot
It makes sense that Scots were the first to create an internet message board for outdoor hookups—because, really, what’s easier than lifting a kilt for a quickie, right? Horny exhibitionists in the...
Bits & Pieces
Love American Style
America is known for excess. We do a lot of everything—shopping, eating, drinking, driving and shooting. The one thing we’re not doing a lot of lately is fucking. We’re just not putting up the...
Bits & Pieces
Monks on Meth
It takes one simple Google search to know that Buddhists live by “moral precepts,” otherwise known as restraints. Taboos include harming living things, sexual misconduct, lying or gossip and indulging in...
Feature
College Anal 101: A Study Guide
IT’S EVIDENT THAT PUBLIC EDUCATION IS FAILING IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN STUDENTS CONTINUE TO ARRIVE AT COLLEGE ANAL VIRGINS. THIS, I SUSPECT, IS WHY DIRECTOR RICK DAVIS IS SHOOTING...
Politics
“Our Worst Fears Realized”
He was born in Philadelphia 44 years ago. He has no criminal record and frequently traveled to other countries and returned without incident. That is, until this past February. For the...
Politics
Automakers & Making America Great Again
Looking for a new car, I tried to buy American. It wasn’t just because Donald Trump kept going on and on about making America great again by bringing back well-paying jobs, like...
Bits & Pieces
Think Pink
Recently Hugh Hefner’s youngest son, Cooper, took to Twitter to make an announcement: Nudes were back. “I’ll be the first to admit that the way in which the magazine portrayed nudity was dated, but...
Bits & Pieces
Paid to Get Laid
There have been a lot of jokes recently about people moving to Canada, but if this sexy new law passes, Sweden will be the new home of the great American diaspora. In the northern town of Overtornea, a local...
Bits & Pieces
Hostess With the Mostest
What a time to be a woman in Oklahoma! Not only is there nothing to eat but OxyContin and sticks of salted butter, but since 2011 the state has passed 20 strict regulations cementing a wall between...
Bits & Pieces
Not so Bright-Bart
Milo Yiannopoulos is a name synonymous with controversy. He’s a contrarian who likes to go against societal norms. A Far Right homosexual is about as contrarian as you can get, but Milo found a way to kick...
Feature
In The Flesh
DO YOU DREAM OF FUCKING KAYDEN KROSS? FANTASIZE ABOUT PUSHING YOUR HARD COCK INTO TEAGAN PRESLEY’S TIGHT PINK TWAT? MEET THE MAN WHO CAN MAKE THAT POSSIBLE—SORT OF. If you’ve watched porn and/or...
Politics
2 1/2 Minutes to Midnight
Just two days before climate-change denier Donald Trump was sworn in as President, the World Meteorological Organization announced that 2016 was the hottest year ever recorded on planet Earth. The...
Politics
Hope Springs Eternal
Scratching around for some rare good news concerning our bullyboy President, I’ve conjured up a couple of positive signs that may help you sleep better. The first concerns the ultimate horror of global...
Bits & Pieces
Strength In Numbers
If there’s anything the Trump Administration has taught us, it’s that size matters. Not just the size of your hands, but the size of your crowds on the National Mall. The Women’s March on January 21st...
Bits & Pieces
Grabbing Your Attention
A perk of being a celebrity or President (or in our case a celebrity President) is that you get wax figures sculpted in your likeness. Tourists get to overpay to visit your statue and trick their...
Bits & Pieces
Dick Picks
In the age of social media and online dating, the rules aren’t the same. Dating apps have bred a culture of constant hookups. If you’re a smooth dude, you can use Tinder to have a new woman every night,...
