Larry And Woody
Larry Flynt and Woody Harrelson respond to a text from compadre Willie Nelson, reminding him that he’s always on their minds. ...
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The Trouble With Harry
One summer three years ago, in the privacy of a VIP hotel suite in Las Vegas, Prince Harry got drunk and naked with fellow revelers. If a full-time Apache helicopter pilot with two tours in Afghanistan under his belt doesn’t deserve to play naked air guitar with a pool cue, threaten a room with his...
“She died a month ago. I would’ve called sooner, but I haven’t had this much sex in twenty years.”
“She died a month ago. I would’ve called sooner, but I haven’t had this much sex in twenty years.”...
“Spiraling down into the black hole of power, corruption, and greed is much more manageable now that I’m on the right meds!”
“Spiraling down into the black hole of power, corruption, and greed is much more manageable now that I’m on the right meds!”...
“The media should have asked me if you embellish stories, Mr. “I have a ten-inch dick.”
“The media should have asked me if you embellish stories, Mr. “I have a ten-inch dick.”...
“Hey farm boy! You lookin’ for a good time?”
“Hey farm boy! You lookin’ for a good time?”...
“See this, Helen? It gets more ass than I do!”
“See this, Helen? It gets more ass than I do!”...
“I started to prepare a resume, but then thought, Fuck It!”
“I started to prepare a resume, but then thought, Fuck It!”...
“So what if I bought a blowjob? I didn’t bitch when you bought a vibrator!”
“So what if I bought a blowjob? I didn’t bitch when you bought a vibrator!”...
“This country is going to the dogs! Hell, I remember when I was a rookie – you could shoot a nigger and no one would raise an eyebrow!”
“This country is going to the dogs! Hell, I remember when I was a rookie – you could shoot a nigger and no one would raise an eyebrow!”...
“I guess if I can eat my wife’s cooking for ten years, eating a little un-washed pussy is not gonna kill me!”
“I guess if I can eat my wife’s cooking for ten years, eating a little un-washed pussy is not gonna kill me!”...
The Operation
After meeting a sexy young woman at a local bar, lucky Henry was invited back to her place, where they engaged in a night of passionate, raunchy sex. She could be the one, thought Henry. The next morning, as he dressed, he noticed a picture of a handsome, fit man on the dresser. Henry began...
Second Opinion
A doctor and his wife spent the night arguing. Just before he walked out the door, he shouted, “Just so you know, you give lousy head.” Later, feeling remorseful for his harsh words, he called home to apologize. The phone rang and rang. When she finally picked up, the doctor asked, “What took you so...
Gina
Gina, a beautiful, voluptuous woman, went to a gynecologist. After taking one look at her, the doctor’s professionalism went right out the window. Right away he asked her to undress. As she took off her dress and panties, he began to stroke her thighs. “Do you know what I’m doing?” he asked, looking intently at...
Quickie
A hungry man went into a restaurant and sat down to place his order. “I want a quickie,” he told the waitress. She slapped his face. “Please, all I want is a quickie!” She slapped him again and walked away. He got the attention of a second waitress. “What is it gonna take before one...
Video Games
Question: What do video games and HUSTLER have in common? Answer: They both improve eye-hand coordination. ...
Blonde
Question: What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant? Answer: “Are you sure that it’s mine?” ...
Pass Away
Question: Why do men often pass away years before their wives? Answer: They want to. ...
Mind Fu@k
“I am Ela Darling, and this is pretty fucking cool, right?” For the past few months, former librarian and current porn star Ela Darling has been inserting Oculus cables up her butt and pussy to generate 3D holograms for VRtube, her new virtual reality porn site. “When someone puts on a headset, all frames are...
Stop Vegetable Abuse!
Every day, in homes all across America, cucumbers suffer extreme torture. Eggplants are crushed. Squash is squashed. Corn is stripped of all dignity. Abusers shove carrots into cunts, radishes into rosebuds. It’s distressing. It’s vexing. It’s wrong! But you, sir or madam, can do your part. No, don’t turn the other way. Buy that veggie...
Toy Porn
Do these mystery hands belong to one of HUSTLER’s hottest honeys? The Daily Mail thinks so, outing former adult star Sandy Summers as YouTube phenomena DC Toys Collector. Described as “crack for toddlers” and “toy porn” by technology strategist David Williams for their addicting, hypnotic effect on children, the fetishistic videos feature a set of...
Wear A Raincoat
Your summer vacation is right around the bend—finally. After months of busting your butt at a job you hate, all you want to do is go somewhere fun, party your ass off and get laid—repeatedly. But where to go or, perhaps more importantly, where not to go? Allow us to inform your decision. Twenty million...
