Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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“I don’t see anything indecent about it. They look like a pretty decent pair to me.”
“I don’t see anything indecent about it. They look like a pretty decent pair to me.”...
“Greetings, Earth of 1985! I come from the year 2015, in search of girls with hair on their pussies for our men’s magazines!”
“Greetings, Earth of 1985! I come from the year 2015, in search of girls with hair on their pussies for our men’s magazines!”...
“You don’t think waterboarding is torture, you shot a friend in the face, and you got give deferments from serving in the Vietnam War. Damn! You don’t have a brain, a heart, OR courage!”
“You don’t think waterboarding is torture, you shot a friend in the face, and you got give deferments from serving in the Vietnam War. Damn! You don’t have a brain, a heart, OR courage!”...
“Fuck John McCain! If he’s so against torture, then why did he unleash Sarah Palin on the world?!”
“Fuck John McCain! If he’s so against torture, then why did he unleash Sarah Palin on the world?!”...
“The reason I’m fucking your sister is quite simple – you said no, she said yes.”
“The reason I’m fucking your sister is quite simple – you said no, she said yes.”...
“Wow… who’d have thought that when you play a Bill Cosby album backwards…”
“Wow… who’d have thought that when you play a Bill Cosby album backwards…”...
“I don’t know about you, Sister Louise, but that Jew hunk makes me wet as hell!”
“I don’t know about you, Sister Louise, but that Jew hunk makes me wet as hell!”...
“…and for twenty years, you’ve been saying you hated my mother!”
“…and for twenty years, you’ve been saying you hated my mother!”...
“…And to my sister, Lydia, the frigid bitch Jesus freak, I bequeath my extensive toy collection.”
“…And to my sister, Lydia, the frigid bitch Jesus freak, I bequeath my extensive toy collection.”...
Tight
Eric was making out with his new girlfriend when she placed his hand on her pussy. “Put a finger inside me,” she whispered. He slid his finger into her snatch. “Put two fingers in,” she moaned. So he did. Really getting into it now, the gal moaned, “put your whole hand in!” Eric did as...
Sand
Question: What do you get when you get sand in a condom? Answer: An organ grinder. ...
Countdown
“I’m afraid you are dying,” the doctor told his patient. “How long have I got?” asked the alarmed patient. “The doctor opened his mouth to speak. “Ten —“ “Ten what?! Oh, God!” the patient interrupted. “Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?” The doctor continued, “Ten, nine, eight, seven…”...
Sally
“What the hell are you doing?” shrieked Sally when her boyfriend began screwing her more roughly than he ever had before. “Trying to get your balls in too?” “Fuck no,” he groaned in response. “I’m trying to get them out!”...
iPhones
Question: What’s the difference between lawyers and iPhones? Answer: Lawyers don’t get more intelligent and less expensive every year. ...
Kate
Kate and Alice were having lunch together when the conversation turned to the topic of cosmetic surgery. Slightly embarrassed, Kate told her friend, “I’m thinking off getting a boob job.” Alice said, “Oh, honey, don’t you be embarrassed! That’s nothing! I’m thinking of getting my asshole bleached.” Furrowing her brow, Kate stayed silent for several...
Knees
Question: How do you get a blonde up off her knees? Answer: Come. ...
Church
After church one Sunday, Patrick stopped to shake the good preacher’s hand. “Vicar, I’ll tell you, that was a damn fine sermon. Damn fine!” he gushed. “Thank you, sir,” said the vicar, “but I’d rather you didn’t use profanity.” “I’m sorry,” Patrick apologized, “I was just so excited by that sermon that I put $5,000...
Larry And Woody
Larry Flynt and Woody Harrelson respond to a text from compadre Willie Nelson, reminding him that he’s always on their minds. ...
The Trouble With Harry
One summer three years ago, in the privacy of a VIP hotel suite in Las Vegas, Prince Harry got drunk and naked with fellow revelers. If a full-time Apache helicopter pilot with two tours in Afghanistan under his belt doesn’t deserve to play naked air guitar with a pool cue, threaten a room with his...
