Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

All Humor
close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

July 2025

Featuring Elly Clutch
Slide to Browse -OR- View All Magazines
Slide to browse - or - View All
Ember Snow
Vanna Bardot
Ana Foxxx
Scarlit Scandal
Aria Lee
Sunny Leone
Emma Hix
Giselle Palmer
Natalia Starr
Alya Stark
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Search

humor

Housewife

A middle-aged housewife took all her clothes off and asked her husband, “What turns you on more, honey, my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked her up and down and replied, “Your sense of humor.”...
humor

Cheating husband

After getting an urgent call from his attorney, George rushed over to his lawyer’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well,” George contemplated, “if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s...
humor

Prostitutes

Question: Why did the prostitute with two cunts get kicked out of the brothel? Answer: The other girls didn’t like her holier-than-thou attitude....
humor

Rednecks

Two rednecks were sitting around drinking beer and shooting the breeze. After a while one of them said to the other, “If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off huntin’, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?” The...
humor

Elderly Couple

An elderly couple was sitting in church when the wife noticed people staring at her. She leaned into her husband and whispered, “I just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He said, “I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid.”...
humor

Anna

Anna boarded a train and wound up sitting across from a fat banker pigging out on a tray full of oysters. His manners were appalling. He kept belching, swearing and tossing shells on the floor at the young woman’s feet. Finally he finished eating, threw the oily tray on the seat next to her and...
humor

Job interview

Tucker was in the middle of a job interview when his potential employer asked, “What would you say is your biggest weakness?” “I think I’m too honest,” he admitted. “I don’t see that as being a weakness at all,” stated the interviewer. “Well,” Tucker exclaimed, “I don’t give a fuck what you think!”...
humor

Waist

Question: Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Answer: Because you could fit another pair of tits there....
humor

Divorced couple

A newly divorced couple appeared in court to discuss alimony arrangements. After hearing both sides, the judge declared, “Mr. Smith, I’ve decided to give your wife $1,500 a month.” “That’s very generous of you, Your Honor,” the husband remarked. “And when I can, I’ll slip her a few bucks myself.”...
humor

Graffilthy

There once was a mannamed FredWho swore that he neverwould wedBecause wives might fuck,but they hate to suck.And Fred sure lovedgetting head....
humor

You Bet Your Ass

Still pissed off that the Broncos lost? Well, what you don’t know is that over half the people betting aren’t putting their money on a team. They’re more worried about shit like: How many inches of snow will fall game day? What color Gatorade will be dumped over the coach? Did a Red Hot Chili...
humor

40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition

This landmark issue of HUSTLER HUMOR is going fast! Get yours now! Call 1-800-763-8271 ext. 7651 to order America’s Funniest Magazine. Nothing-sacred cartoons, perverted jokes and more of the steamy flesh featured in Ass From the Past (on page 73 of this issue)....
humor

Cruz Control

Don’t color outside party lines! This prime piece of propaganda aimed at kids and dimwits of all ages couldn’t be better if it were crapped out by Joseph Goebbels himself. No, we didn’t make it up; it’s a real coloring and activity book called Cruz to the Future, featuring our August ’13 Asshole of the...
humor

Crash Test Dummy

Who would have guessed that Ron Jeremy would be the new Weird Al? With 5 million hits and counting, Jeremy’s fucked-up spoof of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” is blowing up YouTube. All we want to know is, what the hell is up with his freaky bellybutton?...
humor
humor
humor
humor
humor
humor

HUSTLER Picks

  • Brushing Up on Going Down: The Pros’ Guide to Eating Pussy
  • The Business of Pleasure: How to Succeed in Sex Work (by Really Trying)
  • Three Is a Magic Number
Barely Legal Lexie James Beaver Hunt Angela White Brooklyn Gray Nancy Ace