Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

All Humor
close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

July 2025

Featuring Elly Clutch
Slide to Browse -OR- View All Magazines
Slide to browse - or - View All
Ember Snow
Vanna Bardot
Ana Foxxx
Scarlit Scandal
Aria Lee
Sunny Leone
Emma Hix
Giselle Palmer
Natalia Starr
Alya Stark
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Search

humor

Pickup spot

Two men were chugging beers in the lounge of a hot pickup spot. “I don’t get it,” one complained. “Herb is butt-ugly, he has no taste in clothes, and he drives a 20-year-old car. Yet he always manages to go home with the most beautiful women here.” “Yeah,” the other agreed. “And he’s not even...
humor

Cemetary

So where are you coming from?” Jim asked Nick when the two bumped into each other on the sidewalk. “The cemetery,” Nick answered. “I just buried my mother-in-law.” “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Jim sympathized. “But what are those scratches on your face?” “The old broad put up one heck of a fight.”...
humor

Men in Shower

I read a study that claimed 90% of all men masturbate in the shower,” Meg told Ted, her boyfriend. “And the other 10% sing.” “Really?” Ted asked. “Yes,” Meg said. “And do you know what song they sing?” “No idea.” “I didn’t think so.”...
humor

Impossible girlfriend

My fucking girlfriend is impossible to please,” Matt grumbled to his buddy. “Last week I tried to show her that I was thinking about the future of our relationship, but she got mad as hell.” “What did you do this time?” the buddy wondered. “I put a case of beer in her refrigerator instead of...
humor

Talking dirty

Life sure ain’t fair,” Hank bitched to anyone who would listen. “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. But when a woman talks dirty to a man, she gets to charge him by the minute.”...
humor

Librarians

Question: Why do librarians make the best wives? Answer: They already know how to be quiet....
humor

Favorite shampoo

I asked 100 women to name their favorite shampoo, and the top answer was “How the hell did you get in here?”...
humor

Cheating couple

A lawyer deposing a woman in a contentious divorce case snarled, “Your husband says you deceived him by cheating with the pool boy—” “He started it!” she interrupted. “He lied to me first!” “About what?” the lawyer demanded. “He said he’d be out all night but suddenly came home at 7:30.”...
humor

Congressman

Little Jimmy and Roy got to talking on their first day of school. “My daddy’s a congressman,” Jimmy boasted. “Honest?” Roy asked. “No, just the regular kind.”...
humor

Catholics

Four Catholics—three men and a woman—were having coffee. The first man bragged to his friends, “My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Your Grace.” Not to be outdone, the second man said, “My son is a cardinal. He’s addressed as Your Eminence.” The third gent piped up, “My...
humor

Graffilthy

There once was a womannamed Sue,Who said as her lover withdrew,“Your brother was quickerand slicker and thicker.And two inches longer than you.Goodbye!”...
humor

Nobel Gesture

Backed by a band wearing bright blue HUSTLER tees, Morrissey took center stage at the Nobel Peace Prize concert. Moz’s appearance sparked controversy in Norway, stemming from comments he made after right-wing extremist Anders Breivik gunned down 77 people there in July 2011. During a performance of the song “Meat Is Murder” in Poland, the...
humor
humor
humor
humor
humor

HUSTLER Picks

  • Brushing Up on Going Down: The Pros’ Guide to Eating Pussy
  • The Business of Pleasure: How to Succeed in Sex Work (by Really Trying)
  • Three Is a Magic Number
Barely Legal Lexie James Beaver Hunt Angela White Brooklyn Gray Nancy Ace