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Whip It Good!
From a cat-o’-nine-tails to ball gags and nipple clamps, Sex Nerd Sandra knows the pleasures of pain. Her recent BDSM workshop at the West Hollywood Pleasure Chest schooled her captive audience on the basics from paddling to enemas. For more on our carnal coach, see the Holiday ’13 issue or visit SexNerdSandra.com. Props to The...
Topless Tuesdays
Eight a.m. Another day, another fucking dollar, another godawful commute to the office. Then you pull up to the Devil’s Brew for your caffeine jolt. A barista brings you your order, flashes a smile and, best of all, her boobs are right in your face. Now that’s the way to start a day. If you’re...
“If alcohol will never touch your lips, how about a big, juicy, throbbing cock?”
“If alcohol will never touch your lips, how about a big, juicy, throbbing cock?”...
“In this next scene your parents have just died in a horrible car crash, and Leroy here comforts you by shoving his huge black cock in your ass. Action!”
“In this next scene your parents have just died in a horrible car crash, and Leroy here comforts you by shoving his huge black cock in your ass. Action!”...
“Damn! The new torture field guide says we can’t use waterboarding, sleep deprivation or naked pictures of Ann Coulter to extract information from prisoners!”
“Damn! The new torture field guide says we can’t use waterboarding, sleep deprivation or naked pictures of Ann Coulter to extract information from prisoners!”...
“Wow! And I thought you cops only ate donuts!”
“Wow! And I thought you cops only ate donuts!”...
“I sent my representative to Congress to represent me and vote his conscience, but it turns out the bastard doesn’t have a conscience.”
“I sent my representative to Congress to represent me and vote his conscience, but it turns out the bastard doesn’t have a conscience.”...
“Bite the pillow, bitch—I’m going in dry!”
“Bite the pillow, bitch—I’m going in dry!”...
“I don’t need a marriage counselor. I need a blowjob.”
“I don’t need a marriage counselor. I need a blowjob.”...
“The IRS position? But that’s my assho…Ohhhh!”
“The IRS position? But that’s my assho…Ohhhh!”...
“Mr. Cheney, tell us about the nerve-racking wait for your heart transplant while they looked for the right-size rock.”
“Mr. Cheney, tell us about the nerve-racking wait for your heart transplant while they looked for the right-size rock.”...
“There’s a hundred grand here. All you gotta do is kill Obamacare. But you gotta make it look like an accident.”
“There’s a hundred grand here. All you gotta do is kill Obamacare. But you gotta make it look like an accident.”...
“My wife and I were going to commit suicide together. But when she jumped, I suddenly felt a lot better, and I decided that maybe life was worth living after all!”
“My wife and I were going to commit suicide together. But when she jumped, I suddenly felt a lot better, and I decided that maybe life was worth living after all!”...
“Oh, Harold, please don’t!”
“Oh, Harold, please don’t!”...
“Did you see the headline? Some middle-aged married guy made his own fucking sandwich!”
“Did you see the headline? Some middle-aged married guy made his own fucking sandwich!”...
Pickup spot
Two men were chugging beers in the lounge of a hot pickup spot. “I don’t get it,” one complained. “Herb is butt-ugly, he has no taste in clothes, and he drives a 20-year-old car. Yet he always manages to go home with the most beautiful women here.” “Yeah,” the other agreed. “And he’s not even...
