Don’t color outside party lines! This prime piece of propaganda aimed at kids and dimwits of all ages couldn’t be better if it were crapped out by Joseph Goebbels himself. No, we didn’t make it up; it’s a real coloring and activity book called Cruz to the Future, featuring our August ’13 Asshole of the Month and Tea Party whackjob Ted Cruz, U.S. senator from Texas. So tell your brats to grab the crayons and get to work drawing dicks and boobs on pictures like: Cruz holding a double-barrel shotgun because of Obama. Cruz filibustering “with clairvoyant precision” because of Obama. Cruz randomly pointing at stuff because of Obama. Since nothing makes us angrier than a fascist wrapping himself in the Constitution, here’s a drawing for the sequel we call Cruzin’ for a Bruisin’. Color this one black and blue!