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July 2025

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Wealthy Heiress

Wealthy heiress Mathilda was starting to feel insecure. “Do you just love me because my father left me a fortune?” the Plain Jane asked her new hubby. “Of course not!” he exclaimed. “I’d love you no matter who left you a fortune.”...
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Masturbating

Bill was stunned when he caught his teenage son masturbating in the bathroom. “Lord,” he said to the boy. “Don’t you know that’ll make you go blind.” “Don’t worry, Dad,” the kid confidently replied. “I’ll stop jerking off right when I need glasses.”...
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Nagging Wife

Joe left for work one Friday morning. But instead of going home afterward, he spent the entire weekend partying with his buddies and blowing his entire paycheck. When Joe finally staggered home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very pissed-off wife, who went on a blistering tirade. “How would you like it if...
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Q&A

Question: What do you call a hundred white men chasing a black guy? Answer: The pro-golf tour....
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Graffilthy

If I should diebefore I wake,Bronze my dickfor goodness’ sake.As for the womenI didn’t screw,This hard metal cockis just for you....
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Wishing Well

Connie hiked to a wishing well on top of a hill, where the cutie encountered a man with tears rolling down his cheeks. “What’s wrong?” she inquired. “My wife and I came up here to make a wish,” he told her. “I made mine, and then she did hers, but she leaned over too far....
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Erect Penis

Bob walked into his new doctor’s office and was greeted by a gorgeous receptionist. “Would you like to tell me your problem?” she asked. “It’s rather embarrassing,” Bob stammered. “I, uh, have a very large penis, and I’m almost constantly erect.” “Well, the doctor is very busy today,” the receptionist cooed. “But maybe I can...
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HUSTLER Humor

As always, the latest issue of HUSTLER HUMOR magazine is chockfull of demented, perverted and irreverent cartoons, pics and jokes. If that’s what you’re into, call 1-800-763-8271 ext. 7651 to order. If you’re easily offended, treat this publication like the U.S. government treats the Constitution—avoid it at all costs....
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Mary

Mary was a very sheltered 18-year-old who was finally going on her first date. But her mother had some stern advice: “Don’t let the man put a hand up your dress.” Mary promised to obey. After going into town for dinner and a movie, Mary and her date were parked in a lover’s lane. The...
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Religion

Grant told his pal at the bar, “My ex-wife brought religion into my life.” “Oh, yeah?” his buddy remarked. “Yeah,” Grant muttered. “I never believed in Hell until after we got married.”...
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Masturbator

Question: What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? Answer: A tearjerker....
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Lecture

A pedestrian walking rather gingerly was stopped by a police officer a little past 2 a.m. and asked where he was going. The man said, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as the health risks associated with smoking and staying...

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