Graffilthy
I met a Jewess named Naomi,who I then asked to blow me.But she glimpsed my foreskin,and no balls hit her chin.It seems my poor dick wasn’t kosher....
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XXX Legend’s Final Frontier
CoCo Brown’s work in adult entertainment opened up opportunities for her as a musician (under the moniker Ms. No Tonsils) and as an actress in mainstream fare (2005’s Antibodies). Now this restless sexpot is aiming for the stars—literally. Brown has booked a flight on an SXC space plane that will shoot space tourists 62 miles...
Burn, Barbie, Burn
This is either a member of the women’s-rights group FEMEN staging a topless protest at the Barbie Dreamhouse Experience in Berlin, or Ken’s mistress finally got tired of his empty promises to leave Barbie and decided to crucify the skinny bitch. What does the body graffiti say? “Life in plastic is not fantastic.”...
Boob Bonanza
Coney Island’s 31st annual Mermaid Parade almost didn’t happen this summer due to a lack of cash. Thanks to some skillful last-minute fundraising, the quirky spectacle was saved and, once again, activists marched for the civil rights of all mer-creatures. Or maybe this is just an excuse for babes to bare their breasts in public....
“I’ve cured your wife’s fear of blowjobs, Mr. Larimore. Now what do you say I work on her fear of anal?”
“I’ve cured your wife’s fear of blowjobs, Mr. Larimore. Now what do you say I work on her fear of anal?”...
“Where did you come from? Hell, I don’t know. I was drunker than shit at the time.”
“Where did you come from? Hell, I don’t know. I was drunker than shit at the time.”...
“Who cares if you’re on your period? When I fuck you in the ass, I get shit on my dick. What’s a little blood compared to that?”
“Who cares if you’re on your period? When I fuck you in the ass, I get shit on my dick. What’s a little blood compared to that?”...
“Guess what, Mom! I met someone! Well, he’s quiet, sensitive—and he really listens when I talk!”
“Guess what, Mom! I met someone! Well, he’s quiet, sensitive—and he really listens when I talk!”...
“It’s quid pro quo then. The fags can get married as long as the niggers don’t get to vote anymore.”
“It’s quid pro quo then. The fags can get married as long as the niggers don’t get to vote anymore.”...
“Who cares if you’re on your period? When I fuck you in the ass, I get shit on my dick. What’s a little blood compared to that?”
“Who cares if you’re on your period? When I fuck you in the ass, I get shit on my dick. What’s a little blood compared to that?”...
“It’s true. As your governor, I spent a lot on very high-priced hookers…but if elected, I promise to blow your cash on cheap whores only.”
“It’s true. As your governor, I spent a lot on very high-priced hookers…but if elected, I promise to blow your cash on cheap whores only.”...
“Okay…okay…I admit it! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Gimme some big black nigger cock!”
“Okay…okay…I admit it! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Gimme some big black nigger cock!”...
“Trim the shoulders, style the chest, layer the legs and a comb-over on my ass and balls.”
“Trim the shoulders, style the chest, layer the legs and a comb-over on my ass and balls.”...
Obama eavesdropping on a Michael Douglas phone call
Obama eavesdropping on a Michael Douglas phone call...
Love handles
After taking a long hot bubble bath, an aging porn star was examining herself in a full-length mirror. As she recalled her younger, thinner, sexier body, she said aloud, “Lord, if you help me get rid of these love handles, I promise to dedicate myself to you forever.” All of a sudden her ears fell...
Jewish divorce
Lilith complained to her old-fashioned Jewish mother, “I’m divorcing Irv. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a nickel.” “You’re married to a multimillionaire businessman,” her mom remarked. “You live in an eight-bedroom mansion, you...
Lesbians
Question: What do you call a pantry full of lesbians? Answer: A licker cabinet....
Orgasm
Bertha explained to her gynecologist, “Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.” “I see,” he said. “And what are you taking for this condition?” “Pepper,” Bertha replied....
Greenhorn
Police Sergeant MacTavish was quizzing a roomful of new recruits. “What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?” he asked. “Call for backup!” a greenhorn hollered from the back row....
Mother fuck
It was a Saturday night, and Ted and Mike were pounding beers at the bar. Three pitchers in, Ted turned to Mike and slurred, “I fucked your mother last night.” Mike slowly rose from his chair and said, “Okay, Dad, it’s time to go home.”...
Family reunion
Two former college roommates ran into each other at a bar and began reminiscing. “Whatever happened to that superhot blonde you were going to marry?” one asked. “Everything was going great until I took her to my family reunion,” the other responded. “Then what?” “She met my rich granddad. Now she’s my grandmother.”...
