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Blowjob

Joe finally scored a date with Emma and picked the sexy babe up at her parents’ home. He’d scrounged enough money to dine at a fancy restaurant, where Emma ordered the most expensive items on the menu: shrimp cocktail, lobster and champagne. A little taken aback, Joe asked, “Does your mother feed you like that...

Graffilthy

There once was a lousenamed Weiner,Who took dirty picsof his peter.He sexted young babesAnd dug his own grave.He’s why a true dick’scalled a Weiner....

No.2 Rules

Sim Jae-Duck—ex-mayor of Suwon, Korea—was born in a toilet (literally!) and fixated by the ol’ dump ever since. He felt it his duty to clean up the city’s poopers and was known around town as Mr. Toilet. In homage to his obsession, the good mayor built his home in the shape of a john and...

All Hands on Dick

This one-stop bate shop boasts a five-finger discount every day of the week. Visit its location in Bonita Beach, Florida, where a friendly staff of wankers will be happy to assist you. They offer the ultimate fly-fishing experience....

Gutter Talk

XXX stars love to play with heavy balls, especially for a good cause! At the recent Porn Star Bowling Fundraiser—cohosted by the Free Speech Coalition and LATATA (Licensed Adult Talent Agents Trade Association)— upwards of 300 jizz-bizzers and their fans celebrated America’s right to say any-fucking-thing we want. You hear that, NSA? Of course you...

Hot doctor

Dan arrived at the doctor’s office only to discover that his new physician was a drop-dead gorgeous redhead. At first he was embarrassed, but the doctor soothed, “Don’t worry. I’m a professional. I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll check it out.” So Dan quickly dropped his pants. “My wife...

Brazilian brunette

I just slept with a Brazilian,” a brunette confided to her blond friend. “Omigod!” the blonde gasped. “You slut! How many is a Brazilian?”...

Male chauvinist

Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinist? Answer: A woman who won’t do as she’s told....

Welfare

Maybel was filling out forms in the welfare office when the clerk asked how many children she had. “Ten boys,” Maybel answered, “all of ’em named Bobby.” “Really?!” the clerk exclaimed. “Yes, sir. That way, when I want ’em to come in for dinner, I just yell ‘Bobby!’” “But what if you just want one...

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