Bits & Pieces
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“Okay, guys, this obstruction thing is getting ridiculous!”
“Okay, guys, this obstruction thing is getting ridiculous!”...
“I like that much better…”
“I like that much better…”...
“Give me a hunk of that burger and a few fries, and I’ll go shit on the Kardashians.”
“Give me a hunk of that burger and a few fries, and I’ll go shit on the Kardashians.”...
THE TYPICAL REPUBLICAN SENATOR
THE TYPICAL REPUBLICAN SENATOR...
“You must be psychic! How did you know I was divorced?”
“You must be psychic! How did you know I was divorced?”...
“Mom tells me you wanna talk to me about sex. Gee, Dad, I didn’t know you were having problems in the bedroom.”
“Mom tells me you wanna talk to me about sex. Gee, Dad, I didn’t know you were having problems in the bedroom.”...
“Good news. Nothing about assfucking or cumming in her mouth!”
“Good news. Nothing about assfucking or cumming in her mouth!”...
“I can’t believe you use The Wall Street Journal for a blanket! We live in an alley because of those assholes!”
“I can’t believe you use The Wall Street Journal for a blanket! We live in an alley because of those assholes!”...
“I’m glad the tobacco industry had to give up all those unsightly billboards. I wonder who bought all the ad space?”
“I’m glad the tobacco industry had to give up all those unsightly billboards. I wonder who bought all the ad space?”...
“Akin was right. The female body has a mechanism to shut down that whole rape thing. Just ask his wife!”
“Akin was right. The female body has a mechanism to shut down that whole rape thing. Just ask his wife!”...
“I see. I take it that is a firm no on the prospect of having anal sex later.”
“I see. I take it that is a firm no on the prospect of having anal sex later.”...
“How much did those fake titties cost? I’m blind, not stupid.”
“How much did those fake titties cost? I’m blind, not stupid.”...
“I used to think all medical plans were pretty much the same.”
“I used to think all medical plans were pretty much the same.”...
“Gee, Donnie, remember when we used to kiss sometimes?”
“Gee, Donnie, remember when we used to kiss sometimes?”...
Penis Enlarger
Adam was drinking with a pal when he muttered, “My wife thinks my dick’s too small, Charlie.” “How do you know?” Charlie asked. “She told me to get a penis enlarger,” Adam glumly mumbled. “My ex-wife told me the same thing,” Charlie said. “So I got one. She was 18 years old, and her name...
Sex-change
An older gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. As he stepped up to the receptionist, he noticed that the woman looked like a Sumo wrestler. The fogey gave her his name, and she immediately said in a loud voice, “You’re here to see the doctor about...
Wealthy Heiress
Wealthy heiress Mathilda was starting to feel insecure. “Do you just love me because my father left me a fortune?” the Plain Jane asked her new hubby. “Of course not!” he exclaimed. “I’d love you no matter who left you a fortune.”...
Masturbating
Bill was stunned when he caught his teenage son masturbating in the bathroom. “Lord,” he said to the boy. “Don’t you know that’ll make you go blind.” “Don’t worry, Dad,” the kid confidently replied. “I’ll stop jerking off right when I need glasses.”...
Nagging Wife
Joe left for work one Friday morning. But instead of going home afterward, he spent the entire weekend partying with his buddies and blowing his entire paycheck. When Joe finally staggered home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very pissed-off wife, who went on a blistering tirade. “How would you like it if...
Q&A
Question: What do you call a hundred white men chasing a black guy? Answer: The pro-golf tour....
Graffilthy
If I should diebefore I wake,Bronze my dickfor goodness’ sake.As for the womenI didn’t screw,This hard metal cockis just for you....
Wishing Well
Connie hiked to a wishing well on top of a hill, where the cutie encountered a man with tears rolling down his cheeks. “What’s wrong?” she inquired. “My wife and I came up here to make a wish,” he told her. “I made mine, and then she did hers, but she leaned over too far....
Erect Penis
Bob walked into his new doctor’s office and was greeted by a gorgeous receptionist. “Would you like to tell me your problem?” she asked. “It’s rather embarrassing,” Bob stammered. “I, uh, have a very large penis, and I’m almost constantly erect.” “Well, the doctor is very busy today,” the receptionist cooed. “But maybe I can...
