Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

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Illustrated monthly funnies

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

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Graffilthy

There was once a buggernamed Mr. Swoboda,who refused to pay a whorewhat he owed her.So with great savoir-faire,she stood on a chairand pissed in his whiskeyand soda....

Veteran Vaginas

Fans of old-school porn flocked to Las Vegas for the induction of a new class into the Legends of Erotica Hall of Fame at Showgirls Video. Among those honored were Alexandra Silk and Elizabeth Starr. It’s nice to see an industry treating its elders with utter respect. When a Bits & Pieces editor gets too...

Demonic Boobs

If you love graphic novels and masturbating equally but find yourself unable to whack off to stories about brooding superheroes, please allow Gentlemen Comics to come to the rescue. Filling a niche in the booming graphic-novel business, the innovative publisher delivers adult-themed comics (including titles like Beelzebabe and Ninja Cat Maid) right over the Internet....

Jokes-Satan

Fed up with her husband’s drinking, Marybeth decided to teach Albert a lesson. As usual, he left for his regular watering hole right after dinner, while Marybeth proceeded to stitch together a terrifying devil costume. Hoping to frighten Albert and remind him of his sinful ways, she waited by the front door until he returned....

Jokes-Razor

Looking for his favorite shaving products at a London pharmacy, a Texan tourist named Tim bellowed, “Y’all got any American razor blades in this fancy store? All I see are damn Billettes.” The British druggist said, “Billette ‘as been producing the finest swords, surgical instruments and razors since before Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo.” “I don’t...

HUSTLER Wisdom

HUSTLER Wisdom:When you think about it, the penis has a pretty rough life. His family’s nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friends are pussies, his hair is always a mess, and—to top it off—the poor little dick’s owner habitually beats him until he vomits....

Jokes-Neighbors

Lucinda was in her ninth month of pregnancy and unable to deliver the goods in bed. So she gave her horny husband, Enrique, $20 and told him to approach their female neighbor, whose hubby was out of town, with a deal for sex. Enrique went next door without questioning his wife’s motive but came back...

Jokes-Cosmetic surgery

During a work break, Misty and Amanda were discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. “I need to be honest with you,” Misty fessed up. “I’m getting a boobjob.” “Aw, that’s nothing,” Amanda huffed. “I’m gonna have my asshole bleached!” “Really?” Misty wondered. “I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde.”...

Jokes-Lawyers

Question: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? Answer: The hooker stops fucking you after you’re dead....

Jokes-Butthole

A cop stopped his patrol car when he saw a couple sitting on the curb. The guy was borderline unconscious, lying on his side with his pants pulled down. The girl had her middle finger in his asshole, poking him with a vengeance. “What the hell’s going on here?!” the lawman asked. “This is my...

Graffilthy

In days of old, when knightswere bold, and rubbersweren’t invented.They wrapped a sockaround their cock.And that’s how babieswere prevented....

Jokes-Marybeth

Fed up with her husband’s drinking, Marybeth decided to teach Albert a lesson. As usual, he left for his regular watering hole right after dinner, while Marybeth proceeded to stitch together a terrifying devil costume. Hoping to frighten Albert and remind him of his sinful ways, she waited by the front door until he returned....

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