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humor

No Blue Balls Here

Any red-blooded American knows there’s only one thing that could make bowling better: Pack the alley with naked chicks! While public nudity is generally frowned upon in family-friendly amusement centers, the dress code for the recent “Bare Bowling” event in North Hollywood, California, was considerably looser. Caprice Capone, Ana Foxxx and other porn stars disrobed...
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This Ain’t Your Grandma’s Needlepoint

A lanky lady with dirty-blond hair and a mischievous smile, Ellen Schinderman has the amazing ability to cross something you watched Grandma do with acts you never wanted to think of her doing. The road to high (or lowbrow) art started for the future eroticist at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, where she majored...
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Pussy Power

Wild man Jeremy Cane has been on HUSTLER’s radar for a while. A semi-perverted, brutally honest and always entertaining outlaw writer and artist, Cane deftly combines filthy, funny poetry with colorful, abstract erotic art. We admire his creative spirit and the fact that he lives by his own Bukowski-esque rules. Who else would roam the...
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Gynecologist

When David was about to start out as a gynecologist, he sought advice from a veteran of the profession. Dr. Curley was more than happy to sit down with David. “Being a gyno is a lot like being a pizza-delivery guy,” Dr. Curley told the newbie. “How do you mean?” David asked. His mentor replied,...
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Golf

A little old lady was dragging two large plastic trash bags as she traipsed through town. One of the bags was ripped, and every few steps a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped the biddy, pointed to the torn bag and said, “Ma’am, $20 bills are falling out of...
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Sandra

Sandra told her daughter Maria that they could talk about anything at any time. So when the girl finally lost her virginity, she didn’t hesitate to inform her mother. “How was it?” Sandra inquired. “Wonderful,” 21-year-old Maria gasped. “It was a little rough at first, but I have to admit the experience was totally magical.”...
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HUSTLER Wisdom

HUSTLER Wisdom:Women want one man who can satisfy their many needs. Men want many women to satisfy their one need....
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Meg

Meg was overdue for a physical, but the fortysomething was embarrassed by her weight problem. She finally dragged herself to a doctor. As Meg removed her last bit of clothing, the fatty started to blush. “I’m so ashamed,” she apologized. “I really let myself go.” “Don’t feel ashamed,” the physician assured Meg as he held...
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Edgar

The end was near for a lifelong scumbag named Edgar. A priest arrived to administer last rites. “I’m here to save your soul,” the priest announced. “Okay,” Edgar grumbled on his deathbed. “What do I gotta do?” “You must renounce the devil and all his teachings,” the priest  beseeched. “Tell the devil he won’t be...
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Graffilthy

You can rent my sisterfor $2 an hour.For $1 more she’ll shave,and she’ll shower.My mother ain’t bad,and she’s only $1 more.But I’ll crush your nutsif you call either a whore!...

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