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Fellatio Fallout

In the February ’13 issue of HUSTLER we used the “Dick in the Mouth” feature to get back at comedian Jeffrey Ross for dissing our fearless leader, Mr. Larry Flynt. Ross was a good sport about the gag, perhaps recognizing that he was sharing an honor previously bestowed upon luminaries like Khloé Kardashian, Tila Tequila...

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Copulating Couple

Lilyanne Bloom and Max Sauvage, founders of PornographicLove.com, earn their keep by doing what they love: each other. The kinky Canadians launched the website to chronicle their sexual adventures, which include plenty of flagrant fucking, a bounty of blowjobs and enough squirting to drown several small mammals. What sets theirs apart from other amateur sites...

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Golden Genitals

Nothing gets women naked faster than telling them it’s in the name of art. Just ask American artist Spencer Tunick, who somehow persuaded 1,700 volunteers not just to strip down in front of an opera house in Munich, Germany, but also to be covered in body paint for his extravaganza. (If you’re curious, he was...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“How is the economy ever going to improve if you two cheapskates won’t spend any money?!”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“I’ll tell you once more, O’Malley. It’s the medical examiner’s job to determine if she was sexually assaulted!”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“Oh, wait, we HAVE met! Stockbroker, beach house, BMW convertible, needle-dick, eight-second fuck…”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“And do you solemnly swear that, as a Republican congressman, if you ever engage in a monogamous, nonviolent, loving, heterosexual relationship, you will resign immediately?”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“So, Ms. Coulter, you’re saying that Barack Obama is an even bigger retard than Sarah Palin’s kid?”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“You’ve suffered quite a few concussions, Mrs. Jones. Since you don’t play football, I’d suggest staying away from the headboard when your husband fucks you doggy-style.”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“I was thinking of having another son. But today, with all that paternity crap…damn DNA tests…child support…I say FUCK it!”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“This particular breed is very social. He needs to be with other dogs.”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“My first mistake was letting you plan our getaway weekend…”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“Are we close to break, Carla? My clit is numb!”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“But my true genius, of course, is surrounding myself with extremely talented people.”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“I don’t want to get pregnant, so let’s pretend you’re legitimately raping me.”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“Doc, I think about pussy from the time I get up till the time I lie down.”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“I’m going down to the corner for a blowjob. You need anything?”...

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HUSTLER Cartoons

“Henry, I’m moving in with my mother! I feel strongly that this is no longer a Christian home!”...

humor

Joke – Paper Bag

A long-haul trucker named Travis stopped at a convenience store late one night. “I need a package of condoms and a bottle of Wild Turkey,” he told the clerk. “Will you need a paper bag?” the clerk asked as he got the items together. Travis turned toward the window and quickly glanced at the lot...

humor

Joke – Fishing

Waking up on his day off, Rodrigo was greeted by a bright, sunny day. “Honey,” he said, rousting his sexy wife, Rosa. “We’re going fishing today.” “No way,” Rosa groggily responded, burying herself under the covers. “Please listen,” Rodrigo told her. “I’m gonna put on some clothes, then load up the van and get the...

humor

Joke – Ugly Baby

When Sally carried her baby onto the city bus, the driver couldn’t help himself. “Man,” he bellowed, “that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” Stunned, Sally paid her fare and took a seat next to an older gent. Noticing the young mother’s dejected expression, he politely asked what was troubling her. “The bus driver just...

humor

Joke – Driving

Jeff was driving his grandfather home from the store in a blinding snowstorm. When the highschool senior almost rearended another car, Gramps demanded that he pull to the side of the road and relinquish the wheel. “Driving in the snow is like performing oral sex on a woman,” the senior citizen explained in terms he...

humor

Graffilthy

There once was this fellow McCreeny.Who spilled some ginon his wienie.Just to be couth he added vermouth.Then slipped his girlfrienda martini....

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HUSTLER Wisdom

HUSTLER Wisdom:Without nipples, knockers would be pointless....

humor

Joke – Q & A

Question: What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Answer: A kinky person uses a feather; a pervert uses the whole chicken....

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Jokes-Standing

Standing in front of her third-grade class, Mrs. Foreman announced, “Today’s lesson is on words with more than one syllable. Does anyone have an example?” “Yup!” a tyke yelped, raising his hand. “Masturbate.” “Very good, Donnie,” Mrs. Foreman remarked as the biddy tried to avoid blushing. “That’s quite a mouthful.” “No, Mrs. Foreman,” Donnie retorted....

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