Bits & Pieces

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

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Cartoons March

“It’s amazing how they keep finding ways of getting us to watch the Kardashian reality show… “...

Cartoons March

“Things could be worse. You could’ve been born a goddamn Republican.”...

Cartoons March

“Sorry, Ted, you’ve been out of work for two years! We have bills!”...

Cartoons March

“Life’s not so bad, sir. What’s that? You’re Ann Coulter’s boyfriend? Holy shit! Put that gun barrel in your mouth and pull the trigger – now!”...

Cartoons March

“And a wine that goes well with Viagra…”...

Cartoons March

“Oh Christ, Brice. It’s the Gay Reaper!”...

Cartoons March

“You’ve contracted a sexually transmitted disease, but don’t be alarmed. This happens to a lot of slutty, liberal young women these days.”...

Cartoons March

“Well, miss, I’m staring at your breasts for the same reason a little boy gazes at puppies in a pet shop window – I want to set them free and play with them!”...

Cartoons March

“During the week I’m a legal secretary. I’m just a biker slut on weekends.”...

Cartoons March

“I swear to drunk, officer. I’m not God!”...

Cartoons March

“Well, they’re even more advanced than we thought. He got the condom on on his first try!”...

Cartoons March

“All right, all right! You can stick it up my butt!”...

Jokes – Hoping

Hoping to score a chick, lonely Robbie had been practicing pick-up lines all week. On Saturday night he went to a bar and gave one a try. Spotting a hot brunette in a skimpy outfit, Robbie confidently strutted over to her and asked, “What’s it gonna take for me to get into those panties of...

Jokes – Little

Little Johnny’s mother decided it was time to tell her son how babies are made, so she had “the talk” with him. Afterward, Johnny just sat there silently for a few minutes. Then he asked for clarification: “So Daddy puts his thing in you, and a baby comes out?” “More or less,” his mom replied....

Jokes – Farmer

A farmer outside Walton, Kansas, recently made history by growing an entire field of organic dildos. The only downside is that he’s had a load of trouble with squatters....

Jokes – Betty

Betty was shopping in a big-box store when middle-aged Steve approached the stunning blonde. “I lost my wife,” he said. “Do you mind if I stand here and talk to you for a while?” “I’m sorry for your loss,” Betty replied. “But I’m kinda in a hurry.” “Oh, she’s not dead,” Steve told the doll....

Jokes – Bill

Bill walked in the front door and announced, “Honey, I invited a friend from work over for dinner tonight.” “Are you crazy?!” his bitchy wife Ann hissed. “The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, I haven’t taken a shower yet, and frankly I don’t feel like cooking some fancy meal.” “I know...

Jokes – Gary

Gary came home from work early and caught his wife getting fucked by his best friend. “Henry, what the hell are you doing?!” he shouted. “See,” Gary’s wife whispered to Henry. “I told you Gary doesn’t know anything about sex.”...

Graffilthy – Finger

Here I sit in misty vaporin a shithouse with no paper.I don’t have time now to sit and linger.Watch out, asshole.Here comes finger!...

Jokes – QA – Helium

Question: Why did Marty quit his job at the helium factory? Answer: Because he refused to be spoken to in that tone....

Jokes – QA – Browns

Question: What’s the difference between the Cleveland Browns and an over-the-hill prostitute? Answer: Nothing! They both suck for four quarters....

Jokes – QA – Cannibals

Question: What do cannibals end up doing at a wedding? Answer: They toast the bride and groom....

Jokes – QA – Constipated

Question: What happened to the constipated composer? Answer: He was unable to finish his last movement....

Yank Plank

Planking—lying facedown as stiff as a board in unusual places—is already passé with photo-sharing hipsters. The cool kids may have moved on to Tebowing, owling and Eastwooding, but Angga Pratama has been busy putting her own spin on cultural trends with “Planking 18+.” Pratama, an Indonesian artist living in Holland, lensed a series of photographs...

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