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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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Featured Article

Tiny Dicks, Rise Up!

Fighting against the longstanding attitude that bigger is better, a mini-revolution is taking the shame out of having a small penis.

There is a miniature revolution presently underway in the United States. It’s one where men with little between the legs are finally taking a stand against the shaming of short shafts. The goal of this micro movement is simple: Prove to a nation where bigger has always been better that it has been dead wrong the whole time. Little dicks should be praised, not patronized.

Recently, a peaceful protest took place in Los Angeles where the lesser endowed and their supporters marched proudly down the streets brandishing signs emblazoned with messages encouraging a new way of thinking about the less than average-sized cock. “My Dick Is Not a Choking Hazard,” one stated, while another exclaimed, “There’s Nothing Wrong With Small Dongs.”  

It wasn’t just the men out there trying to change the public’s perception of the proverbial teeny peen. No sir; a slew of women, too, came forward to proclaim, of all things, that they prefer smaller packages. Indeed, plenty of women appear to have a predilection for modestly sized meat missiles. “As a woman that loves sex and has had men of all sizes, the foreplay is the most important part for me,” Tori, a 26-year-old professional ballet dancer from Champaign, Illinois, tells “I can have amazing orgasms from a man’s finger alone, and nobody makes a deal about the size of a man’s finger. I don’t fixate on size. Just make me come!”

Sure, we’ve all heard by now that it’s not the size of a man’s tool, it’s how he uses it. This line was once suspected to be nothing more than a spiel propagated to make those with diminutive dicks feel better about themselves; just a way to offer paltry pricks a little humanity at a time when humanity is what the world needs. 

But maybe, just maybe, it’s true. It sure looks that way, which is good fucking news for a lot of men. After all, if the global average of an erect penis is 5.5 inches, that means 50 percent of the male population falls below that number. 

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