Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

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March 2024

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Latest Articles

Politics

Vicious Guard Dog?

Trying to take a bite out of Apple Inc., the FBI descended into a hell of its own when Director James B. Comey demanded that the tech giant create special software that bypasses an iPhone’s passcode,...
Politics

Raging Bull

The U.S. Supreme Court’s decades-long lurch to the hard right may finally have come to a blessed end with the sudden death of its most vocal wingnut, Associate Justice Antonin Scalia. Albany Law School...
Government Boobs
Bits & Pieces

Government Boobs

Is there a sale on intolerant boobs in New Hampshire? State Senator Nancy Stiles (Republican, natch!) was mortified when 54-year-old Heidi Lilley and 23-year-old Kia Sinclair went topless at Hampton Beach last...
Hookers for Hillary
Bits & Pieces

Hookers for Hillary

Brothel owner (and author! and reality TV star!) Dennis “My business is built on privacy and discretion” Hof likes attention, so his Hookers for Hillary campaign might seem like nothing more than a...
Caligula Dot Com
Bits & Pieces

Caligula Dot Com

The party is winding down at Zenefits, a human-resources tech startup once valued at $4.5 billion. Its CEO Parker Conrad resigned after concerns about the company’s failure to meet legal compliances and its...
Porn Is Good for You
Bits & Pieces

Porn Is Good for You

Ever since serial killer/knob Ted Bundy blamed hardcore pornography for fueling his horrendous crimes, many a misguided soul has taken it for granted that porn consumption leads to the objectification and...
Trump’s Teenie Weenie
Bits & Pieces

Trump’s Teenie Weenie

You know things are going badly for the GOP when even a Fox News focus group spits out words like “shameful,” “disappointing,” “despicable” and “disgusting” to describe the debate...
Carmen Electrifies
Bits & Pieces

Carmen Electrifies

Here at HUSTLER, we dig into shit, in this case Kocktails With Khloé, so you don’t have to. We’re not sure who’s responsible for greenlighting this, the latest spelling-challenged, televised turd to...
The Beauty of Booty
Feature

The Beauty of Booty

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Truly Mortifying
Bits & Pieces

Truly Mortifying

The hundreds gathered at Thornhill Crematorium in Cardiff to mourn a man killed in a car accident were horrified to see hardcore porn projected during the funeral service. The X-rated footage appeared on a...
Young John’s Schlong
Bits & Pieces

Young John’s Schlong

“I can keep an erection almost indefinitely,” porn legend John Holmes told HUSTLER in 1983. “I can also keep an erection straddling a girl at the edge of a cliff, looking down at 300 feet of nothing,...
Club Girl: Shavelle Love
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Shavelle Love

Shavelle declares. “It’s a place where anything goes. I love the heat. Traffic isn’t bad. Everything is open. Parking is never a problem. And there’s always a pool party somewhere!”...
Rooms With a View
Bits & Pieces

Rooms With a View

Suspecting that she might be her generation’s Don McCullin, 17-year-old Jo Broughton wanted to change the world through photography. Thing is, she sucked at art school. “I was really bad,” she laughs....
Furry Fury
Bits & Pieces

Furry Fury

Hey, furries, Tony the Tiger has had it up to here with your smutty tweets. The Kellogg cereal mascot tried being patient with the furry fans who flooded his official Twitter account with lewd, lascivious...
Hap-Penis
Bits & Pieces

Hap-Penis

The world’s first FDA-cleared penis implant is here. Yeah, yeah—we know, bigger isn’t better, and most women say they don’t care how big a dick is (according to a 2014 report based on a study of 26,437...
Satan Is My Copilot
Bits & Pieces

Satan Is My Copilot

Even those who avoid the Trinity Broadcasting Network got a nice whiff of bullshit when a segment from Kenneth Copeland’s Believer’s Voice of Victory recently went viral. Copeland, truly one of today’s...
Somewhere, An Egret Cried
Bits & Pieces

Somewhere, An Egret Cried

Pointing a gun at a Federal officer is a crime, but for almost a month, the government response to the antigovernment protest at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon was restrained, at...
Club Girl: Melanie
Bits & Pieces

Club Girl: Melanie

After spending the last six months traveling back and forth between Minnesota and Las Vegas, our 25-year-old Club Girl decided to plant her high heels squarely in Sin City, where you can find her dancing at...
Mean Tweets
Bits & Pieces

Mean Tweets

Obama’s done it; kids do it; even Canadians do it. It didn’t take long for Jimmy Kimmel’s segment “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” to drip its way through pop culture. Thing is, most porn stars don’t...
XXX Mashup
Bits & Pieces

XXX Mashup

There’s too much wanky guitar music to make it strictly educational, too much British accented voice-over to make it porn. A video clip titled “Camera Inside of the Vagina During Sex in Missionary...
Pimp My Ride
Bits & Pieces

Pimp My Ride

Dutch parliament member Gert-Jan Segers got a stiff lesson in “If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question.” A member of the ChristenUnie, a socially conservative Christian political party,...