Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Politics
Saudi Money Trumps U.S. Morals
Donald Trump has the strangest crushes on questionable countries, ranging from North Korea to Russia to Saudi Arabia, not to mention several other bizarre choices. But the one for which he...
Bits & Pieces
Sex On the Beach
With dead bodies stacking up faster than Garfield eats lasagna, city officials in Guadalajara, Mexico, decided that it might be a good idea to focus less on enforcing public decency statutes and instead...
Bits & Pieces
Presidential Penises
In a think piece from September 2018, Guardian journalist Hadley Freeman asks the very important question of whether or not it’s okay to laugh at a penis—specifically the penis belonging to bloated...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Deal News: Climate Scientists Urge World to Freak the Fuck Out
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has released a new...
Feature
Sex Superstars: Blond Bombshells
In appreciation of the beautiful blondes who have graced these pages over the past decade, HUSTLER presents a selection of fair-headed powerhouses and fan favorites—women who...
Politics
Donald Trump Wants to Kill You
Thousands will die under the president’s new plan to “bring back coal.” During Donald Trump’s first tumultuous year in office, Republicans in Congress fought like hell to “repeal...
Politics
Stop Corporate Greed!
Bernie Sanders takes aim at thriving companies whose underpaid employees require government assistance to survive. Need further proof of how much better off this sad sack republic of ours would have...
Bits & Pieces
Porn, The Great Equalizer
The grim truth of our reality is that we live in a world where Presidents pay off porn stars and no one bats an eyelash. So it’s a source of some comfort to see a similar turd of a human being get...
Bits & Pieces
Drive-Thru Sex
As if cuckoo clocks and chocolate weren’t enough of a contribution to global happiness, the Swiss have stepped up with a real third-act topper in the form of a safe and convenient solution for the sex work...
Bits & Pieces
Celebrity Muff-Divers
DJ Khaled, that guy who will not stop shouting his name in every damn song, caused a bit of an uproar last spring when he casually declared on live radio that he does not partake in the eating of...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Mueller Witch Hunt Uncovers Coven
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A year and a half into the Special Counsel investigation of Russia’s meddling in the 2016 Presidential election, Robert Mueller and his...
Feature
Sex Workers, Unite!
THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER FOR SEX WORKERS, WHO ARE STARING DOWN THE DOUBLE BARRELS OF THE DEADLY LEGISLATIVE COMBO SESTA/FOSTA. LEARN WHY THEIR FIGHT IS OURS AND HOW THESE RECENTLY ENACTED LAWS DO MORE...
Feature
Where’s the Love? Dating in the Digital Age
DATING CAN BE A REAL CHORE THESE DAYS, WHAT WITH ALL THE SWIPING LEFT AND SWIPING RIGHT. WHAT SHOULD BE EXHILARATING AND FUN CAN SOMETIMES BECOME A STRESSFUL...
Politics
Dark Money Is Now Darker
Transparency dies in the murky water of the swamp. Does anybody in the world think there’s too much transparency in American politics? That there isn’t enough secrecy in our electoral system?...
Politics
Google’s Black Eye
From the crack of dawn to the darkest hours of night, you are followed. In the most intimate detail, every step of your daily life is being permanently recorded without interruption—from your bed to your...
Bits & Pieces
The Real Fake News: Miller Denies Santa Work Visa
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senior immigration policy adviser to President Trump, Stephen Miller, announced last week that Kris Kringle will not be given his usual...
Bits & Pieces
Sasquatch Porn
Has Bigfoot erotica finally cracked the mainstream? This very specific literary genre was at the center of a political firestorm in July as Leslie Cockburn, a Democratic candidate for Virginia’s 5th...
Bits & Pieces
68 Is the New 69
Mutual oral pleasure is great and all, but is 69ing really the be-all and end-all of sexual positions? Sometimes it’s almost too much, you know? Too hard to focus, too many distractions. So maybe try the 68...
Bits & Pieces
Houston, We Have a Fuck Doll
Pranks, shenanigans, monkeyshines—they are the lifeblood of local news and the bane of cops everywhere. So it was a mixed blessing for media and law enforcement this summer when two...
