“Something that says ‘Let’s fuck’ without the commitment.”
“Something that says ‘Let’s fuck’ without the commitment.”...
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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“I’m looking for the HUSTLER store on Sunset Boulevard…I need to buy the wife a ball gag.”
“I’m looking for the HUSTLER store on Sunset Boulevard…I need to buy the wife a ball gag.”...
“I spent a lifetime walking with you through Neiman Marcus, Sears and JCPenney. Now it’s my turn to shop!”
“I spent a lifetime walking with you through Neiman Marcus, Sears and JCPenney. Now it’s my turn to shop!”...
“I’ll take both!”
“I’ll take both!”...
“Is this for yourself or a loved one?”
“Is this for yourself or a loved one?”...
“How much is that doggy in the window? Whatever it is, I’ll take him.”
“How much is that doggy in the window? Whatever it is, I’ll take him.”...
“Thanks for asking…”
“Thanks for asking…”...
Juliana Hatfield Has It Covered
After taking on the songbooks of Olivia Newton-John and The Police, the “My Sister” singer is tackling the Electric Light Orchestra catalog. Juliana Hatfield does whatever she wants. In her four decades-and-running career, the Boston-based rocker has been in multiple bands, including Blake Babies, The Lemonheads, The Juliana Hatfield Three and The I Don’t Cares...
Friday Funnies: Affairs to Remember 6
Feeling like you’ve been a little cheated in the laughs department lately? Don’t worry, we vow to honor and obey your need for a good chuckle with these outrageous HUSTLER cartoons that explore the hilarious side of infidelity. Enjoy! “I have six days to live. My wife is visiting her mother.” “Holy shit, Joe! It’s...
Butt’s Happening! Vol. 10
We hope you don’t mind, but we’re getting pretty behind with things today. No, wait, scratch that—we know you won’t mind when you see what we have in store for you! Join us for yet another collection of tempting tushies, beautiful backsides and delectable derrieres, courtesy of some of HUSTLER’s hottest Honeys… Eden West Dimonica...
HUSTLER Birthday Babe: Abella Danger
Bust out your candle and get ready to enjoy a sweet treat, because it’s time for a XXX birthday party! And while the birthday we’re celebrating is that of HUSTLER favorite Abella Danger, there are plenty of nice gifts in store for you too! Regular HUSTLER readers are no doubt well familiar with Abella, a...
Give ThanXXX
With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, some of our favorite XXX performers share what they’re most grateful for this year. It’s that time of the year again; 2023 is winding down and it’s time to reflect on what we’re grateful for this year. While we all traditionally tend to focus on family, friends and health (which we...
Camping Sex: It’s Fucking in Tents!
Fall is that time of year when people all across the United States who’ve been beaten down by the apocalyptic heat of the sweltering summer heat finally get some relief and settle into cooler climates. It’s hoodie weather, as it’s commonly referred to in the Midwest: a time for football, backyard bonfires and, for some...
91 Criminal Felonies
Because the “character” of the President of the United States counts! Dear President Clinton: Character and family values count! (Impeach!) Dear Vice President Gore: You tried to steal a Presidential election! (Sore-Loserman!) Dear Secretary of State Clinton: Mishandling classified documents is treasonous! (Lock her up!) Love, the Republicans P.S. Just kidding! Suckers! I’m old enough...
Nicole & Cytherea
CLASSIC PHOTOGRAPHY FROM THE JANUARY 2004 HUSTLER “After the police gather all the evidence and the coroner wheels the body out, someone has to clean up the mess at a murder scene. It’s not a glamorous job, but it helps if you have a fetish for true crime, like Cytherea...
Getting Your Groove Back
Feel like your sex drive has been stuck in neutral lately? Fear not, we have some crucial advice on how to get back on the road to sexual vitality. There are a plethora of reasons why your sex drive might be stuck in neutral. Maybe you’ve been with your partner for so long that sex...
Next time I shop…
“Next time I shop for the new furniture!”...
He’s hooked on…
“He’s hooked on a new game I taught him…Face Invaders!”...
Look! We’re…
“Look! We’re saved!”...
You’re the one who…
“You’re the one who said I needed a hobby.”...
Friday Funnies: Shop Till You Pop
It’s Black Friday—that annual post-Thanksgiving ritual when Americans everywhere flock to the shops and malls in a frenzied quest to score bargains and finish their holiday gift shopping. Hopefully, you’re doing the smart thing by browsing the e-tailer sites while digesting leftover turkey and pumpkin pie in your underwear, but you can still enjoy a...
Of course I do it…
“Of course I do it on the first date. How else would I know if I want a second date?”...
And this, of course, is the…
“And this, of course, is the furnished bachelor apartment…”...
Sex in the Stars?
Can astrology really help you find the ideal porking partner, or is it all just a stellar load of bullshit? Astrology—what a bunch of crap. To me, it’s a heaping load of jibber jabber that people use as an excuse for their shortcomings, to avoid taking responsibility for the clown-shoe behavior that turns their lives...
