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humor

Girl Meets Porn

It says a lot about the state of the entertainment industrial complex that an actor on a not-unpopular network TV show can leave mainstream behind to make more money and find greater fulfillment working in adult entertainment. Maitland Ward, you are the hero Gotham needs. The former Boy Meets World cast member spent the past...
humor

Sex Doll Protocol

If you pay attention to international news, then you’ll occasionally catch a stark reminder or three of why Canada is not the bucolic Northern paradise you once imagined. Canada can be racist. Canada can be violent. And much like our own law enforcement, Canucks can be just as confused as us about how to properly...
humor

A priest and his chickens

A  priest kept chickens at this village. One evening a cock went missing. At a mass prayer gathering, the priest asked, “Who has a cock?” All the men stood up. “I’m sorry,” the priest said. “I meant who has seen  a cock?” All the women stood up. “No, no, no!” the priest snapped. “Who has...
humor

Bret went into a pharmacy

Bret went into a pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist told the young man, “They come in packs of three, nine or 12. How many will you be needing?” “Well,” Bret replied, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a little while now, and she’s really hot. I think tonight’s the night. We’re having dinner with her...
humor

You Had Me at Cream Pie

It’s not easy being a McDonald’s franchise owner. Between slumping sales and the imminent transition to a plant-based menu, the brand is struggling to remain relevant in an age where the popularity of colon-clogging death sludge is on the wane. In Japan the chain has taken drastic—some would argue desperate— steps to attract consumers, from...
humor

A sexually active woman

A sexually active woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the procedure be kept a secret, and the surgeon agreed. After the operation the woman awoke from the anesthesia and found three roses carefully placed...
humor

Extreme sexual exhaustion

As  Professor Anderson was wrapping up class, he reminded his students about their final exam. “There will be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow,” he sternly warned, “barring a serious medical condition or the death of a family member.” A smartass male student stood up and asked, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?” The entire...
humor

First Contact

Secret shame no more! If ever you’ve fantasized about the sweet caress of a Martian digit as it prepares your anal probe, you’re not alone. Like, the opposite of alone…you’re in very good company,  so much so that some people are wondering what to make of it all. The truth is out there, and it cums in peace.  Purveyors of...
humor

Boobs Save Koala Bears!

One billion animals dead. Over 12 million acres of land up in flames. The Australia wildfires, still burning at press time, have caused untold destruction and suffering. So when the government was slow to step in, sex workers endeavored to teach the world a lesson in compassion and direct action.  Models have been leveraging their...
humor

Practice What You Preach

Okay, it’s no bombshell reveal that the South, with all its finger-wagging and moral hooha, is just as horny as the rest of us, but it’s always worth revisiting this factoid with due regularity, if only to remind the hypocrites that they have no fucking business telling people what they can or cannot do with...
humor

When Goat-Napping Goes Wrong

First things first, be assured that this story ends up okay…unless you count one man’s crippling meth addiction. And his even more crippling bad judgment. Or the tattered remains of his friendship with a goat who shall remain nameless. We’ll start at the beginning. While the rest of us were sleeping off our New Year’s...
humor

(Sensitive) Studs For Hire

You don’t hear as much lore and chatter about male escorts because, let’s face it, most women don’t have to try as hard to get laid. That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with women who choose to pay for sex, the benefits of which are numerous (it’s so nice when they don’t...
humor

Pardon me, sir

A man in his 40s and a younger woman were having a romantic dinner in an upscale restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. While taking an order at another table, the waitress noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, but the man didn’t seem to notice. He was staring...

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