Question: What do you call a teenage boy who says he doesn’t masturbate?
Question: What do you call a teenage boy who says he doesn’t masturbate? Answer: A liar....
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“Hey, watch it, cowboy! You’re riding up the wrong canyon, partner!”
“Hey, watch it, cowboy! You’re riding up the wrong canyon, partner!”...
“Here, son—I’m doubling your allowance so you can afford better pussy.”
“Here, son—I’m doubling your allowance so you can afford better pussy.”...
Group Masturbation: The Healing Touch?
In this age of steamed vaginas and Goop, no manner of new age hoo-ha should come as a surprise anymore. Rejuvenating beluga placenta facial mask? Here’s my credit card number! But it’s not fair to generalize; yes, Gwyneth Paltrow is a dangerous charlatan, but sometimes a lady needs to rub her bean in a roomful...
“The pharmacy won’t deliver unless we order a case of butt lube.”
“The pharmacy won’t deliver unless we order a case of butt lube.”...
Celeb Skin: Stars Who Stripped
Move over J.Lo and company. We’re not interested in celebrities doing impressions of strippers—we want the real thing. And none of that Hollywood burlesque nonsense either. It’s pole or nothing as HUSTLER recaps the famous faces and bodies you mayor may not have known to dabble in the erotic arts. Let’s get the obvious stuff...
Angela White Does HUSTLER Hollywood
How better to spend your Friday night than in the presence of porn royalty? HUSTLER Hollywood’s Sunset Boulevard location was recently packed with eager fans as XXX superstar Angela White dropped in to press the flesh and sign autographs for her loving followers. The event brought White devotees to HUSTLER Hollywood en masse. The first...
The Kominsky Method Loves Amber Lynn
Fans of the Netflix comedy The Kominsky Method, which returned for its second season on October 25, received an extra-special treat as they caught up with Sandy Kominsky, Norman Newlander—and a classic HUSTLER pictorial. Eagle-eyed enthusiasts of the series—and America’s Magazine—likely felt their jaws drop (and their dicks rise) as Episode 5 unfolded and offered...
In Praise of Streaking
Remember the Instagram model who flashed her breasts at Houston Astros pitcher Gerrit Cole during Game 5 of the World Series? Say what you will about this cheap publicity stunt, those boobs are now forever enshrined in history, her perky nipples now part of our collective consciousness/spank bank. But Julia Rose, 25, is hardly the...
“My feelings for you haven’t changed since the day we got married. I hated you then, and I hate you now!”
“My feelings for you haven’t changed since the day we got married. I hated you then, and I hate you now!”...
“I’ve been looking for something in my price range, and I think I’ve found it!”
“I’ve been looking for something in my price range, and I think I’ve found it!”...
“Boy, I just can’t win. I free the slaves, and now they’re all voting Democratic!”
“Boy, I just can’t win. I free the slaves, and now they’re all voting Democratic!”...
“We used to be the ‘fake news’ channel, but now that dumb fuck Trump is giving everyone else the credit! Asshole!”
“We used to be the ‘fake news’ channel, but now that dumb fuck Trump is giving everyone else the credit! Asshole!”...
“Back off, Sister! Maybe there’s a god; maybe there ain’t. No one knows! I just want some fuckin’ soup!”
“Back off, Sister! Maybe there’s a god; maybe there ain’t. No one knows! I just want some fuckin’ soup!”...
“Fuck! That was my best orgasm EVER!”
“Fuck! That was my best orgasm EVER!”...
“The really sad part is everything I was put in here for is now legal.”
“The really sad part is everything I was put in here for is now legal.”...
Question: Do you know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man’s sex life?
Question: Do you know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man’s sex life? Answer: Women know that if a man will eat oysters, he’ll eat anything....
“Another porn star admits to having an affair with President Trump. She expresses deep shame, questions her sanity and begs for our forgiveness.”
“Another porn star admits to having an affair with President Trump. She expresses deep shame, questions her sanity and begs for our forgiveness.”...
“Funny how God only seems to speak personally to greedy, right-wing evangelists!”
“Funny how God only seems to speak personally to greedy, right-wing evangelists!”...
A young couple
A young couple took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the boy, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.” The next morning, when the...
A woman
A woman pregnant with triplets was caught in the crossfire at a bank robbery and shot three times in her belly. Saying it was too risky to operate, the doctor chose not to remove the bullets. Sixteen years later one of the girl triplets went crying to her mother. “What’s wrong?” the mom asked. “I was...
“You know, you’re not doing a hell of a lot for my confidence!”
“You know, you’re not doing a hell of a lot for my confidence!”...
Sub Seeks Master
Kink dating is anything but simple or straightforward. Think of it this way: You love sushi. Like, the good stuff, the really good stuff: razor clams, uni and hamachi so fresh, it was swimming happily only moments before hitting your plate. Now, let’s say you want to meet someone who not only shares your love...
Real Talk: Anal Sex Edition
Like oysters or CrossFit, anal sex isn’t for everyone. Those who love it love it, while others are cool to the concept either by virtue of a bad experience, fear or simple personal preference. All this considered, it’s important to approach butt play with an open mind. For now we’re focused on the female perspective...
“Relax, rookie–it’s just one of the perks of the job!”
“Relax, rookie–it’s just one of the perks of the job!”...
