Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Search
“How was I supposed to know he was Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson? He’s black, and he said he was running, so I shot him.”
“How was I supposed to know he was Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson? He’s black, and he said he was running, so I shot him.”...
“The chain…the leather…I love the fuckin’ leash!”
“The chain…the leather…I love the fuckin’ leash!”...
“Remember, son, you’re either part of the solution or part of the Republican Party!”
“Remember, son, you’re either part of the solution or part of the Republican Party!”...
“I have a family history of mental illness. My father loved Nixon and my mother loves George W. …”
“I have a family history of mental illness. My father loved Nixon and my mother loves George W. …”...
“Hey, I’m a Republican. I would have never been able to live with myself, had I helped him out.”
“Hey, I’m a Republican. I would have never been able to live with myself, had I helped him out.”...
“Under Clinton it was sex, sex, sex. Under Bush it was war, war, war. Under Obama it’s shoot the Negro, shoot the Negro, shoot the Negro.”
“Under Clinton it was sex, sex, sex. Under Bush it was war, war, war. Under Obama it’s shoot the Negro, shoot the Negro, shoot the Negro.”...
I love you too, Harvey—but I won’t marry you! I won’t be a part of destroying the very fabric of America!
I love you too, Harvey—but I won’t marry you! I won’t be a part of destroying the very fabric of America!...
“I hope you like my mom! She loves to eat pussy!”
“I hope you like my mom! She loves to eat pussy!”...
“In the future, sacking and looting will be accomplished simply by joining something called the Republican Party!”
“In the future, sacking and looting will be accomplished simply by joining something called the Republican Party!”...
“Do that in the backyard, Howard—I just had that chair reupholstered!”
“Do that in the backyard, Howard—I just had that chair reupholstered!”...
“It’s the new Kanye West doll. All it does is bitch and moan. And behave like a damn fool!”
“It’s the new Kanye West doll. All it does is bitch and moan. And behave like a damn fool!”...
I’m worried about my parents. They both want Ted Cruz to be President! I’m 12, and I know that he’s a dangerous nutjob!
I’m worried about my parents. They both want Ted Cruz to be President! I’m 12, and I know that he’s a dangerous nutjob!...
69ers
How about we go into the bedroom and 69?” John asked his wife Marge. “Well, it is that time of the month,” she replied. “But if you don’t mind, go for it.” They went into the bedroom and were 69ing like crazy when the doorbell rang. “Answer it,” Marge directed. “But my face is a...
Nearsighted Gyno
Question: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Answer: A wet nose....
A Priest!
A man was struck by a bus on a busy New York City street. A group of bystanders gathered around him as he lay dying on the sidewalk. “A priest!” gasped the man. “Somebody get me a priest!” A police officer called out to the crowd, but no priest, no minister, no man of God...
A Clinton Pregnancy
After announcing her bid for the White House, Hillary Clinton discovered she was pregnant. Furious, she called Bill. “This is the last thing I need right now,” she fumed. “How in the hell could you get me pregnant at a time like this?” She waited for him to say something, anything, but there was only...
Matter Over Mind
Question: Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Answer: Because most men are stupid, but only a few are blind....
Domo Arigato, Ms. Roboto
“I am so happy and lucky to get this doll. She likes to hide around the house and scare people and crash parties on the weekends,” boasts a customer in one of many happy testimonials on RealDoll.com. Since 1996 these fully poseable, customizable, lifelike sex dolls have made a name for themselves around the world....
The Wild Side
TABOO, America’s premier fetish magazine, celebrates its debut relaunch with the now perfect-bound, collectible September/October issue. Ideal for both the curious and the curator, TABOO taps deep into the psyches and experiences of its gorgeous models for sumptuous tales of perversion. “It turns out that porn and amateur models do things in their everyday lives...
Club Girl: Callie Maze
“I love Las Vegas!” gushes Callie, November’s super-rad Club Girl, and a couple of years ago she got the tattoo to prove it. “It took several sessions, and yes, it hurt—it was brutal!” she admits of the elaborate ink job spanning her delectable left hip. The blonde is so stunning that customers don’t always notice...
Head Nurse
“Does my dick still work? Can I still fuck?” William J. Peace, paralyzed by an illness at age 18 in 1978, wanted answers. During his hospital rehab, Peace heard rumors about dick-sucking nurses, but assumed they were just that—until he awoke to “the silhouette of a young, shapely woman giving my roommate a world-class blowjob.”...
Screen Queens
Porn stars have been burning up both small and big screens this year in what some industry wonks call “unorthodox casting.” We call it totally awesome! Amia Miley and Peta Jensen appear in the second season of HBO’s True Detective. According to sources, directors put out a call for actresses willing to get naked, and...
