Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

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Illustrated monthly funnies

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

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Unapologetic political satire

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December 2024

Featuring Ellie Nova
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Latest Articles

Politics

U.S. Education is Flunking

I wasn’t surprised to see the Wall Street Journal headline “High School Seniors’ Test Scores Stagnate,” but it did bolster my belief that Americans must address the short-comings in...
Politics

2nd Amendment Double Standard

Once again some nutcase finds it all too easy to lay his hands on an arsenal he has no reasonable need to possess, and innocent people are randomly slaughtered. The latest example of deadly...
You Bet Your Ass
Bits & Pieces

You Bet Your Ass

Still pissed off that the Broncos lost? Well, what you don’t know is that over half the people betting aren’t putting their money on a team. They’re more worried about shit like: How many inches of snow...
40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition
Bits & Pieces

40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition

This landmark issue of HUSTLER HUMOR is going fast! Get yours now! Call 1-800-763-8271 ext. 7651 to order America’s Funniest Magazine. Nothing-sacred cartoons, perverted jokes...
Cruz Control
Bits & Pieces

Cruz Control

Don’t color outside party lines! This prime piece of propaganda aimed at kids and dimwits of all ages couldn’t be better if it were crapped out by Joseph Goebbels himself. No, we didn’t make it up;...
Crash Test Dummy
Bits & Pieces

Crash Test Dummy

Who would have guessed that Ron Jeremy would be the new Weird Al? With 5 million hits and counting, Jeremy’s fucked-up spoof of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” is blowing up YouTube. All we want to know...
Vegas Vag
Feature

Vegas Vag

Screw the red carpet. Go for pink! We raided the hotel rooms and porn star hideouts at this year’s AVN Awards blowout to prove one thing: true talent can’t resist the...
High Roller
Feature

High Roller

HUSTLER: You worked on your “first real album,” NEON iCON, for two years. RiFF RAFF: Well, yes. I’ve never had an album in stores, so this is my rookie year. Once I drop that album, that’s Day One. You...
Porn from the Past
Feature

Porn from the Past

The consummate multitasker, Joan is seen here combining synchronized balling with bird-watching. Thanks to D.D. of Crescent, Iowa, for this vintage photo. Send your smut of yesteryear to: HUSTLER’s Porn From...
Politics

Banksters Are Not Our Only Option

“Epic in scale, unprecedented in world history.” That is how William K. Black—professor of law and economics and former banking regulator—describes the scams in which...
Politics

Affirmative Inaction

Just days before a recorded conversation with Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling established that racism is alive and well in America, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that racial discrimination in...
How HUSTLER Turned Me Into the Most Famous White Trash Whore In My Family
Feature

How HUSTLER Turned Me Into the Most Famous White Trash Whore In My Family

Twelve years ago I had the privilege of getting my boyfriend to fuck my ass in the middle of a desert, on top...
Neverending Panty Raid
Feature

Neverending Panty Raid

Attaining the dubious distinction of old fart ain’t bad if it means putting in 37 years at an extraordinary workplace. So kudos to Lady Luck, karma or an omni-unpresent deity’s master plan. I...
Why I Did It
Feature

Why I Did It

On February 26, 2014, a young activist made history when he stood up and interrupted the Supreme Court in the name of the American people. It was the court’s first protest in eight years and the first time...
Sleaze, Legalese & How to Hustle the Court
Feature

Sleaze, Legalese & How to Hustle the Court

On a sunny California day in 1998 I was home from college, visiting my mom and grandmother. We happened to be standing in the parking lot of the distinctive...
Nobel Gesture
Bits & Pieces

Nobel Gesture

Backed by a band wearing bright blue HUSTLER tees, Morrissey took center stage at the Nobel Peace Prize concert. Moz’s appearance sparked controversy in Norway, stemming from comments he made after...
Belle Knox
Feature

Belle Knox

Early this year the Duke University student body buzzed with a hot rumor: A bona fide hardcore starlet walked among them, meeting the school’s exorbitant tuition fees by fucking on-camera. After the...
Larry Shock
Feature

Larry Shock

HUSTLER’s early days are the stuff of legend, documented by reporters and acted out by Hollywood stars. A former top editor confirms that the real story is even crazier. He swears everything that follows...
Erecting an Icon
Feature

Erecting an Icon

Forty fucking years! As HUSTLER hits its ruby anniversary, we look back at nearly half a century of sex, insanity and the American Dream. Lock up your daughters and hang on tight. 1974: The first issue of...
Politics

Why I Dig Being in HUSTLER

As a reporter, historian, critic and columnist for more than 60 years, I’ve never wanted to write just for the choir—readers who always agree with me. The wider and more combative the...
Politics

Mr. Indecency

This is a fit time and place to mark the memory of one Charles Keating, the scoundrel who wanted to be remembered for having put Larry Flynt in jail. Instead, this holier-than-thou guardian of other people’s...