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November 2025

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How to Please a Man or Woman

How to please a woman: Love her. Take her to dinner. Miss the game for her. Buy her jewelry. Be interested in what she has to say. How to please a man: Show up naked. Bring beer....

Casino

There was a young lady in Renowho lost all her doughplaying Keno.So she lay on her backand opened her crack,and now she ownsthe casino....

Daddy

Little Bobby bragged, “Mommy, I’m going to be just like Daddy when I grow up.” His mother replied, “I’m sorry, dear, but you can’t do both.”...

Pig In Heat

Question: How can you tell if a pig is in heat? Answer: She buys the first three rounds. ...

Kuwait

A reporter, returning to Kuwait for the first time since the Gulf War, was impressed by the sociological changes in the country. On previous visits, she had noted that women walked about five paces behind their men at all times. Now, she observed, women were walking ahead of their husbands by at least 20 paces. ...

Longest Sentence

Question: What’s the longest sentence in the English language? Answer: I do....

Harold

Harold had been pounding brews at the pub all night. When he got about as drunk as he could possibly get, some college kids noticed his condition and decided to be good Samaritans by taking him home. So they stood him up to get his wallet and find out where he lived, but he fell...

Grapes

When one wino noticed another lush eating grapes, he ran up to him in a panic. “Man, what are you doing? You have to wait!”...

Real Estate

Newly licensed real estate agent Chris wrote an ad for a house he had recently listed. The house had a second-floor suite that could be accessed using a lift-chair that slid along the staircase. Describing this feature, he inadvertently made it sound even more attractive: “Mother-in-law suite comes with electric chair.”...

Vacuum

Question: What does it mean when a man says, “Take a break, honey – you’re working too hard”? Answer: He can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner....

Angel

“My wife’s an angel,” slurred a drunk to his buddy at the bar.  “Lucky you,” said his buddy. “Mine’s still alive.”...

Special Olympics

Question: What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Answer: Not being retarded....

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