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humor

Slut and bitch

Question: What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch? Answer: A slut will fuck anybody. A bitch will fuck anybody but you. ...
humor

Assassin

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing, it came down to three candidates, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will...
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Admiral

A tough old admiral snarled to a lowly seaman, “I suppose that after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can piss on my grave.” “N—n—not me, Admiral,” the seaman stuttered. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in line again!” ...
humor

Jesus

Question: How do you know Jesus Christ was Jewish? Answer: He lived at home until he was 30, and his mother thought he could walk on water....
humor

Cherry

Here’s to the girls inhigh heel shoeswho snort our cokeand drink our booze.They don’t havea cherry, butthat’s no sin.They still have the boxthe cherry came in....
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Wine

Agnes was sitting down, enjoying a glass of wine, when her husband joined her on the couch and started reading the newspaper. “I love you so much!” Agnes gushed. “I don’t think I could make it through a single day without you.” The hubby was a little surprised at this outburst from his normally reserved...
humor

Blonde Joke

Question: What is a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme? Answer: Humpme Dumpme....
humor

Whore

What do you want to be when you grow up?” a teacher asked her third-grade class. Little Kevin piped up, “I want to start out as a Marine pilot, then become a billionaire, find me a gorgeous whore and buy her a Ferrari, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris and a jet, all...
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Bonus

Question: What’s the difference between a bonus and a boner? Answer: Your wife will blow your bonus....
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Property

Doug Smith was on his deathbed and knew the end was near. His nurse, his wife, daughter and two sons were all gathered around him. First he addressed his kids: “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. Sybil, you take the apartments on the East End. Jamie, I want you to take the...
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Peer Pressure

Question: What’s the upside to growing really old? Answer: Less and less peer pressure....
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Soldier

Upon returning from his weekend pass, a soldier was questioned by his commanding officer as to where all his money had gone. The soldier replied, “Part for booze, part for women, and the rest spent foolishly.” ...
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Liposuction

The HUSTLER Dictionary defines liposuction as letting the fat out of the bag....

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