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Sheep

One night George barged into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and stood in front of his wife. “This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache,” he said. The wife looked at him, puzzled. “But that’s a sheep under your arm.” “I wasn’t talking to you.” ...

Cocks

Question: Why do men always name their cocks? Answer: Because they don’t want a stranger making all their decisions....

Joey’s confession

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.” “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?” the priest asked. “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who is the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, son, I’m sure to find out her...

Xrays

Jim texted his wife: “Honey, I got hit by a car coming out of the office parking lot. Paula took me to the hospital, where they ran tests and took Xrays. The blow to the head is serious and may have lasting effects. I have three broken ribs, a spinal injury, multiple lacerations, a broken...

Making love

The HUSTLER Dictionary defines making love as something a woman does while a guy is fucking her....

Church gossip

The church gossip Mildred had a bad habit of sticking her nose into other people’s business. One day she accused Bill, a new congregation member, of being an alcoholic, saying she saw his car parked in front of the town’s lone bar for hours. She made a huge scene, telling Bill that everyone who saw...

Drinks

Question: What’s the difference between a dog and a fox? Answer: Five drinks....

Kids argument

Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father. Finally one boy said, “My father is just better than your father.” The other kid countered, “Well, my mother is better than your mother.” The first kid paused. “I guess you’re right. My father says the same thing.” ...

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