Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Cruz Control
Don’t color outside party lines! This prime piece of propaganda aimed at kids and dimwits of all ages couldn’t be better if it were crapped out by Joseph Goebbels himself. No, we didn’t make it up; it’s a real coloring and activity book...
Crash Test Dummy
Who would have guessed that Ron Jeremy would be the new Weird Al? With 5 million hits and counting, Jeremy’s fucked-up spoof of Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball” is blowing up YouTube. All we want to know is, what the hell is up with his freaky...
Nobel Gesture
Backed by a band wearing bright blue HUSTLER tees, Morrissey took center stage at the Nobel Peace Prize concert. Moz’s appearance sparked controversy in Norway, stemming from comments he made after right-wing extremist Anders Breivik gunned down...
Whip It Good!
From a cat-o’-nine-tails to ball gags and nipple clamps, Sex Nerd Sandra knows the pleasures of pain. Her recent BDSM workshop at the West Hollywood Pleasure Chest schooled her captive audience on the basics from paddling to enemas. For more on...
Topless Tuesdays
Eight a.m. Another day, another fucking dollar, another godawful commute to the office. Then you pull up to the Devil’s Brew for your caffeine jolt. A barista brings you your order, flashes a smile and, best of all, her boobs are right in your...
Exit Through The Strip Club
Renegade street artist Banksy hit the HUSTLER Club in Hell’s Kitchen for the 24th piece of his month-long “residency” in New York City. This forlorn gentleman was stenciled onto the rolldown security gate of our jiggle...
Jackoff Justice
Now you can jerk off at the beach without getting busted! If you move to Sweden, that is. The Södertörn District Court recently acquitted a man of all charges originating from his sandy handy. What got him off? He was just stroking it solo, not...
Claw Brawl
“Elbows on the pads!” Cheered on by a bawdy crowd, the Velvet Hammer faces the Barberess of Seville, who promises to “rip your roots out faster than you can say Brazilian with a landing strip.” Eyes lock. Hands grip. The ref shouts,...
Streaks & Stripes
Wearing little more than sneakers, a horde of activists recently dashed through the London Zoo to raise funds and awareness for the endangered Sumatran tiger. The streakers—one for each of the 300 rare cats still remaining in the wild— earned...
Fuckable Faculty
The headmaster of a British private school caught some major crap for recommending that a XXX performer conduct sex-ed classes. He argued that a hardcore pro could help students learn the difference between porn and genuine intimacy. They’d also...
Shake It, Baby!
Welcome to the 16th annual Exotic Dancer Awards Show—held where else but Sin City. For three days Vegas turned into one big pussy bar. Gawkers drank to excess, cheered on favorites and relished the stripper sweat spraying their faces. Erotic...
No.2 Rules
Sim Jae-Duck—ex-mayor of Suwon, Korea—was born in a toilet (literally!) and fixated by the ol’ dump ever since. He felt it his duty to clean up the city’s poopers and was known around town as Mr. Toilet. In homage to his obsession,...
All Hands on Dick
This one-stop bate shop boasts a five-finger discount every day of the week. Visit its location in Bonita Beach, Florida, where a friendly staff of wankers will be happy to assist you. They offer the ultimate fly-fishing...
Gutter Talk
XXX stars love to play with heavy balls, especially for a good cause! At the recent Porn Star Bowling Fundraiser—cohosted by the Free Speech Coalition and LATATA (Licensed Adult Talent Agents Trade Association)— upwards of 300 jizz-bizzers and...
XXX Legend’s Final Frontier
CoCo Brown’s work in adult entertainment opened up opportunities for her as a musician (under the moniker Ms. No Tonsils) and as an actress in mainstream fare (2005’s Antibodies). Now this restless sexpot is aiming...
Burn, Barbie, Burn
This is either a member of the women’s-rights group FEMEN staging a topless protest at the Barbie Dreamhouse Experience in Berlin, or Ken’s mistress finally got tired of his empty promises to leave Barbie and decided to crucify the...
Boob Bonanza
Coney Island’s 31st annual Mermaid Parade almost didn’t happen this summer due to a lack of cash. Thanks to some skillful last-minute fundraising, the quirky spectacle was saved and, once again, activists marched for the civil rights of...
HUSTLER Humor
As always, the latest issue of HUSTLER HUMOR magazine is chockfull of demented, perverted and irreverent cartoons, pics and jokes. If that’s what you’re into, call 1-800-763-8271 ext. 7651 to order. If you’re easily offended, treat...
Onanistic Overachievers
Since 1995, adventurous men and women in cities like San Francisco, London and Montreal have been staging Masturbate-a-Thons. The current record for longest wanking session is reportedly almost ten hours. On the other hand, the fastest...
Alluring Android
In the near future, countless workers will be replaced by machines. Even strippers will be in peril if erotic robots—like this model unveiled at a tech fair in Hanover, Germany—catch on. But can it give a lap dance without electrocuting our...
Digitally Demented
Longtime HUSTLER cartoonist Dan Collins recently launched an e-publishing company called Fun-E-Books. To purchase cool titles like Collins’s More! Cartoons That Will Send Me Straight to Hell—or How to Draw Cartoon Cars, penned by his cohort...
Pole Position
Pole dancing has gone mainstream. Once a sacred art practiced only by high priestesses of Skankdom, it’s now exercise fodder for Midwestern grandmothers. Dust off your moves, ladies, because the World Pole Dance Championships 2013 is right...
