Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
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Hel On Heels
“SHE DIPS HER TALON IN YOUR BRAIN AND STIRS THE CONTENTS IDLY, SMILES TO SEE YOUR AGONY, STOPS TO TRY THE TASTE OF PAIN. SAVOURING YOUR ESSENCE ON THOSE LIPS— THAT MOUTH AND YOU, LOST SOUL IN HEL YOU BEG...
Politics
Brainwashing America
Hillary Clinton first warned us about a “vast right-wing conspiracy” during the Presidency of her husband, Bill Clinton. So did Larry Flynt. For decades the Right has spent (and made) billions creating its...
Politics
Outed Again
Hulk Hogan’s toughest bout didn’t take place in the ring. It was a high-stakes legal fight that began in 2012 when the former wrestling champ filed an invasion-of-privacy lawsuit against Gawker Media for...
Bits & Pieces
Nancy Reagan: An Oral History
Ronald Reagan called her “Mommy.” White House staffers referred to her as “Mrs. President.” Rat Pack actor Peter Lawford considered her Hollywood’s greatest cocksucker. Those are...
Bits & Pieces
Pussy Power
Monster tentacle rape? Fine. Schoolgirls molested on public transportation? Love it. Women’s faces covered in gobs of random dude semen? Bring it on! But data that could be used to generate a “manko”...
Bits & Pieces
Club Girl: Sonya Jade
Just 4-11 and weighing under 100 pounds, this 35-year-old Las Vegas native may be petite, but she knows how to throw her weight around, both in the kitchen and on the stripper pole. Before manning...
Bits & Pieces
If Trump, Then Canada
Commentator Pat Buchanan (yes, he lives—if you consider writing political screed about how unfair life is for rich white bastards like him, living) may call Donald Trump “The Great White Hope,”...
Bits & Pieces
She’ll Take Incredibly Awkward for $200
Jeopardy! has televised its share of uncomfortable moments over its 32- year run, but the game show sunk to new depths when host Trebek turned to journalist/celebrity contestant...
Feature
The Naked…And The Dead
Some people are so scared by repression and guilt that they need an atmosphere of force or violence to become sexually aroused. They have been taught to believe that sex is evil, a sin, and that...
Feature
Badass Beauty Pageants
IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, WHEN WE ARBITRARILY PICK ONE LADY FROM EVERY STATE AND THEN RANDOMLY SELECT ONE OF THOSE AND DECLARE HER MISS AMERICA. OR IF STEVE HARVEY IS HOSTING, HE CROWNS...
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London Keyes For President
IN THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, THE CANDIDATES ARE EITHER DULL OR CRAZY, AND THEIR PLATFORMS ARE A MIXTURE OF UNIMAGINATIVE, UNWORKABLE IDEAS. BUT VOTERS NEED NOT DESPAIR....
Politics
Hitler Happens
Donald Trump is not Adolf Hitler. Not yet, anyway. Hopefully Americans are collectively smart enough not to ultimately fall for his divisive message of hate. But enough Republicans have fallen for it that we...
Politics
Class Warfare: We’re Ready to Fight!
Bob Dylan’s lyrics capturing the turbulent 1960s—“Something is happening here, but you don’t know what it is, do you, Mister Jones?”—resonate today with the enormous...
Bits & Pieces
Utah’s Nitty Gritty Titty Committee
Hang on to your magic underwear, people of Utah. Your state government has officially declared pornography a “public health hazard.” State Senator Todd Weiler sponsored the...
Bits & Pieces
Detachable Penis
Vandals of Arcachon, a small seaside resort in France, have cut off Heracles’ dick for the last time. Erected in 1948 to honor local heroes of the French Resistance, the ten-foot marble man has been a...
Bits & Pieces
Blond Ambition
Bakersfield, California. Home to those who struck it rich in the oil business, Basque immigrants and descendants of poor Oklahoman farmers who migrated during the Dust Bowl. More West Texas than West Coast....
Bits & Pieces
Ted’s XXX Adventure
Looking to get off and vomit simultaneously? XHamster has procured porn featuring Ted Cruz doppelganger Searcy Hayes, a 21-year-old from Natchez, Mississippi, discovered on the Maury Show. “She’s no...
