Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Sex Work Is Work!
This pandemic shit is hard enough as it is without government, law enforcement, landlords and the rest of the oppressors making it even tougher for hardworking people to get through the day. And no one is getting the short end of the COVID stick...
Throuples, Rejoice!
Call us crazy, but we here in the HUSTLER newsroom are getting the distinct impression that polyamory is going mainstream. Granted, Will and Jada kind of imploded, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of us aren’t ready to test out the sweet,...
Double Your Pleasure
Every sport has its impossible move. In figure skating, it’s the quad jump. In diving, it’s a reverse 4½ somersault in the pike position. And in the wide world of bedroom gymnastics: the fabled DP. As to the latter, you need not be an Olympian...
Glory, Glory Hallelujah
Hold up: Did the queer community just save sex? We take you now to New York, where this summer health authorities attempted to provide useful information on how to have safe(r) sex as the city continued to battle a pandemic. Specifically,...
Such a Good Girl
A tool is only useful in the hands of someone who knows how to use it. Anyone can post nudes to OnlyFans, but it takes creativity and entrepreneurial instincts to translate sex into revenue. And it’s not about being “hot,” whatever the hell...
Google Goes Rogue
Ah, porn, the great equalizer. Maybe your parents stumbled upon your search history or a partner walked in on you climaxing to granny porn—mortifying. In theory, one might feel empathy for someone who finds themselves in this position. But for...
Teste Taste Test
Look, we’re all grown-ups here (unless we’re not, in which case, put this magazine back in your dad’s bedside drawer). Our bodies are our own, and you have the right to do whatever youwant with them, societal taboos de damned. We eat our...
Pandemic Penis
Apologies for trotting out this old chestnut, but too much of a good thing is not always a good thing. Manhandling your penis should be kind of like how you treat alcohol: in moderation it’s fine, but if you down a bottle of tequila every day,...
This Shit is Bananas
The following is a sort of footnote to our overview of household products that can safely be used as lube (see “DIY Lube”). To be honest, it’s more of a warning: Despite what you’ve seen on Reddit, do not put your dick anywhere near a banana...
Apocalypse Orgy
Blink and you missed it. A crudely photocopied, nondescript 8.5- by 11-inch flier, in black and white, with a picture of the Avengers. The accompanying text is so ludicrous, so obviously crazy, that one might find themselves reading it over and over...
DIY Lube
Olive oil? Yes. Sulphuric acid? No. It’s safe to say that everyone more or less has a grasp on the broad strokes of what can and can’t serve as lube. But there is a whole universe of products out there whose potential has yet to be fully...
Soaps Get Super Weird
If you’ve never given a shit about soap operas in the past, then prepare to have your world turnedupside-down with this incredible casting news. Remember the publicity campaign in June for the upcoming season of Black Mirror? It was...
(Un)faithfully Yours
The fight for human rights is a broad and complicated battle. Basic, inalienable freedoms many of us take for granted are constantly under attack by those who seek to silence and suppress. Democracy, reproductive rights, racial equality—even...
Your Cheating Heart
Everyone has their own hang-ups and hard lines when it comes to adultery, but at the end of the day cheating isn’t a crime, and this is still a free country, right? Right? And it’s only once we get past our own preconceptions that we can begin...
Deal or No Deal
This article comes with a preface. It’s really more of a shout-out to all the hardworking reporters who maintain their commitment to uncompromising journalism. Thank you, especially those of you who know the value of a good kicker. This month we...
Scent of a Woman
In a perfect world, we learn that Gwyneth Paltrow and her putrid Goop products are charged withmurder by boredom and she’s locked up in a Turkish septic tank for the rest of her life. Butuntil then we just have to keep on hating her and all her...
Orgasm Stacking
There’s this weird intersection in humanity where people who are working themselves to an early grave are also trying to embrace a New Age lifestyle. Futile? Hey, at least they’re trying. And you have to give them credit for any attempt to...
Big Love, Small Package
In this age of fake news and Russian Twitter bots, one would certainly be forgiven for casting doubt on this totally legitimate news story. So please, try to keep an open mind as we attempt to explain Dinky One, the new dating site for...
Sign O’ the Times
We here at HUSTLER are fascinated by the sex lives of the British. Under the covers, they’re just so unabashed and raunchy, and yet outwardly everything appears so proper, perhaps due to those years of living under the chaste yolk of a strict...
Porn Goes Viral
If art is society’s mirror, then that goes double for porn in times of calamity. Like clockwork, we are already seeing the emergence of COVID-19-themed porn, and as you may have already guessed, it’s a bit weird. On the one hand, people are...
A Hustler’s Always Prepared
We get it—you’re fed up. All you see and hear is coronavirus this, COVID-19 that, recession, Armageddon, blah blah blah. But this is important, so listen up, because HUSTLER cares about you. To quote the Bard, the readiness...
Virginia Is for Lovers
Every state has their embarrassing legal relics—you know, those antiquated laws that are still somehow on the books today, leaving police to wonder, Am I really supposed to arrest this guy for cheating on his wife? (a felony in...
