In a perfect world, we learn that Gwyneth Paltrow and her putrid Goop products are charged with
murder by boredom and she’s locked up in a Turkish septic tank for the rest of her life. But
until then we just have to keep on hating her and all her brand stands for, so strap in.
Lately she’s been adding fuel to the fire! Especially in the wake of CandleGate. As you no doubt recall, Gwynny gave the world the one thing it didn’t ask for: a candle that purported to
smell like her steamed vag. Oh, and it retails for $75. Now, were that the most insulting thing
about all this, then maybe we could get on with our lives, but such is not the case.