A veteran dominatrix explains the importance and protocols of using safe words.
Safe words are a vital and crucial element to any form of intimacy, especially when that sexy time can include pushing one’s limits with pain while achieving pleasure. We hear the term safe word thrown around a lot—but what does it actually mean? HUSTLERMagazine.com enlisted the help of veteran dominatrix Alexis Reynolds to give us a lesson. With her 16 years of experience and formal training, she has become a pillar in the BDSM community not just on camera, but on stage and in private sessions as well. We know we’re definitely in good hands with her!
HUSTLERMagazine.com: For those who may be unaware, what is a “safe word”?
Alexis Reynolds: A safe word is the cue to stop the play/scene/act for safety. This could be to readjust equipment, body parts, change angles or positions, renegotiate boundaries, limits, consent, regroup for a break or check intensity to either apply less or go for more/go further into the experience or sensation. There are so many reasons to have them and use them while keeping things fun, sexy and, most importantly, safe! Not all safe words are equal; some are phrases and, in a lot of cases, nonverbal hand signals or visual cues agreed upon before a session starts.
When people hear about a safe word, they usually think of saying something like “pineapple” or “Oklahoma.” In your experience, do you and your partner choose a safe word together, or do you have a regular go-to? What is the word-choosing process like?
