Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

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Illustrated monthly funnies

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Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

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Unapologetic political satire

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Latest Articles

Honey Is Pure Gold
Feature

Honey Is Pure Gold

There are few things more beautiful than the beach at sunset. The beach at sunset with Honey Gold on the sand is one of them. As the 25-year-old, multiethnic adult-film phenom takes in the scenery at Venice...
Kristen Liu-Wong: The Fine Art of Nudie Cards
Feature

Kristen Liu-Wong: The Fine Art of Nudie Cards

The golden age of porn gets a millennial makeover from Los Angeles-based artist Kristen Liu-Wong, who has made it her personal mission to recreate a...
Prepare for Impact(s)
Politics

Prepare for Impact(s)

It’s not your imagination. Natural disasters are getting worse—and we’re not ready. Roughly—and conservatively—speaking, one inch of rainfall is the equivalent of about one foot of...
Saudi Money Trumps U.S. Morals
Politics

Saudi Money Trumps U.S. Morals

Donald Trump has the strangest crushes on questionable countries, ranging from North Korea to Russia to Saudi Arabia, not to mention several other bizarre choices. But the one for which he...
Sex On the Beach
Bits & Pieces

Sex On the Beach

With dead bodies stacking up faster than Garfield eats lasagna, city officials in Guadalajara, Mexico, decided that it might be a good idea to focus less on enforcing public decency statutes and instead...
Presidential Penises
Bits & Pieces

Presidential Penises

In a think piece from September 2018, Guardian journalist Hadley Freeman asks the very important question of whether or not it’s okay to laugh at a penis—specifically the penis belonging to bloated...
The Real Deal News: Climate Scientists Urge World to Freak the Fuck Out
Bits & Pieces

The Real Deal News: Climate Scientists Urge World to Freak the Fuck Out

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—The United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has released a new...
Sex Superstars: Blond Bombshells
Feature

Sex Superstars: Blond Bombshells

In appreciation of the beautiful blondes who have graced these pages over the past decade, HUSTLER presents a selection of fair-headed powerhouses and fan favorites—women who...
Donald Trump Wants to Kill You
Politics

Donald Trump Wants to Kill You

Thousands will die under the president’s new plan to “bring back coal.” During Donald Trump’s first tumultuous year in office, Republicans in Congress fought like hell to “repeal...
Stop Corporate Greed!
Politics

Stop Corporate Greed!

Bernie Sanders takes aim at thriving companies whose underpaid employees require government assistance to survive. Need further proof of how much better off this sad sack republic of ours would have...
Porn, The Great Equalizer
Bits & Pieces

Porn, The Great Equalizer

The grim truth of our reality is that we live in a world where Presidents pay off porn stars and no one bats an eyelash. So it’s a source of some comfort to see a similar turd of a human being get...
Drive-Thru Sex
Bits & Pieces

Drive-Thru Sex

As if cuckoo clocks and chocolate weren’t enough of a contribution to global happiness, the Swiss have stepped up with a real third-act topper in the form of a safe and convenient solution for the sex work...
Celebrity Muff-Divers
Bits & Pieces

Celebrity Muff-Divers

DJ Khaled, that guy who will not stop shouting his name in every damn song, caused a bit of an uproar last spring when he casually declared on live radio that he does not partake in the eating of...
The Real Fake News: Mueller Witch Hunt Uncovers Coven
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Mueller Witch Hunt Uncovers Coven

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A year and a half into the Special Counsel investigation of Russia’s meddling in the 2016 Presidential election, Robert Mueller and his...
Sex Workers, Unite!
Feature

Sex Workers, Unite!

THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER FOR SEX WORKERS, WHO ARE STARING DOWN THE DOUBLE BARRELS OF THE DEADLY LEGISLATIVE COMBO SESTA/FOSTA. LEARN WHY THEIR FIGHT IS OURS AND HOW THESE RECENTLY ENACTED LAWS DO MORE...
Where’s the Love? Dating in the Digital Age
Feature

Where’s the Love? Dating in the Digital Age

DATING CAN BE A REAL CHORE THESE DAYS, WHAT WITH ALL THE SWIPING LEFT AND SWIPING RIGHT. WHAT SHOULD BE EXHILARATING AND FUN CAN SOMETIMES BECOME A STRESSFUL...
Dark Money Is Now Darker
Politics

Dark Money Is Now Darker

Transparency dies in the murky water of the swamp. Does anybody in the world think there’s too much transparency in American politics? That there isn’t enough secrecy in our electoral system?...
Google’s Black Eye
Politics

Google’s Black Eye

From the crack of dawn to the darkest hours of night, you are followed. In the most intimate detail, every step of your daily life is being permanently recorded without interruption—from your bed to your...
The Real Fake News: Miller Denies Santa Work Visa
Bits & Pieces

The Real Fake News: Miller Denies Santa Work Visa

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senior immigration policy adviser to President Trump, Stephen Miller, announced last week that Kris Kringle will not be given his usual...
Sasquatch Porn
Bits & Pieces

Sasquatch Porn

­Has Bigfoot erotica finally cracked the mainstream? This very specific literary genre was at the center of a political firestorm in July as Leslie Cockburn, a Democratic candidate for Virginia’s 5th...
68 Is the New 69
Bits & Pieces

68 Is the New 69

Mutual oral pleasure is great and all, but is 69ing really the be-all and end-all of sexual positions? Sometimes it’s almost too much, you know? Too hard to focus, too many distractions. So maybe try the 68...