Can you really tell if someone will be a good lay by the way they lock lips? Pucker up, because we’re going deep in search of answers…
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy…” Jimi Hendrix, as popularly misheard
Sex is a bit of a gamble. It might seem easy, in some instances, to size up a potential partner from across the room and think, Man, I bet they fuck like a six-legged hyena on methamphetamine, but when we get that imagined sexual dynamo in the sack, the experience is more like getting your asshole knuckled out by your Uncle Joe—it’s awkward and ultimately regrettable. Looks can be deceiving, and they are in no way an indication of who’s going to be a good lay and who’s not. Unfortunately, this little snag in the system has caused countless people to go spread-eagle for partners who would easier unscrew the lid of a pasta jar with greasy hands than get them off. It can be tough to predict the sexual aptitude of humanity when you’re out there playing the field—which means, unfortunately, the average casual fucker is destined to end up porking as many losers as winners.
Yet, what if we were to tell you that there is a humping hack for weighing the risk-to-reward ratio of a sexual conquest, allowing for successful sexual experiences more times than not? Sure, who among us wouldn’t want to be let in on that little tidbit of information? Well, if you ask some women, handicapping a random romp is as easy as paying closer attention to the kiss.
“Going in with all tongue isn’t a good sign,” Roseline, 29, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “It’s been my experience that bad kissers are bad in bed.”