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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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Call Me Daddy?
Featured Article

Call Me Daddy?

What does it say about a woman if she likes to call her lover by a paternal pet name? And what about the guys who like it? We dive into the complicated issue.

It should be considered a dark stain on the fabric of society that couples are required to have cutesy pet names for each other once a relationship reaches a certain level. Two people might not even know each other’s parentally appointed monikers when they start slobbering all over each other at the bar following 15 beers and a martini. But three months later—assuming they’re still together—these lovebirds will undoubtedly be referring to each other as “baby,” “honey,” “snookums” or some other cliché term of endearment. What determines the humiliating sobriquet an individual is given in their relationship is anybody’s guess. What is known is that some women stick with the classics—”Baby, can you do me a favor?”—while others opt for a more paternal designate, like “Daddy.” As in, “Daddy, I’ve been a bad, dirty little slut, and I need to be punished.”

Although some dudes might be quick to embrace the role of Papa and bend that naughty girl over their knee for an ass-lashing that she won’t soon forget, others tend to get a little freaked out by the term. It’s just a little incestuous for their taste. After all, some of these guys are fathers in real life, so being deemed paterfamilias by a female that they bone on a regular basis is a turn-off. 

“Personally, I don’t like it,” Jeff, a 35-year-old engineer from Seminole, Florida, tells “My girlfriend calls me Daddy all the time during sex. It creeps me out. She keeps doing it, though, so I just ignore her.”

The most important question in this wild conundrum surrounding coital christening, however, is why? Why in the name of everything sacred would any woman insist on calling their male sexual partners Daddy? Over the years, there has been speculation that the lady who waxes patriarchal about a lover must be fucked in the head, emotionally scarred and riddled with daddy issues. Maybe their fathers didn’t love them enough; perhaps they didn’t buy them Barbies or tell them they were pretty that one time it really mattered. So now, as fully grown women, they desperately seek the fatherly attention they were deprived of in their formative years from the greasy, mostly older men they choose to canoodle with.

Plenty of scientific papers and other psychological jibber-jabber have been published throughout the years by so-called professionals arguing that women are unwittingly attracted to men who act like their fathers because, for better or worse, that’s the bastard who shaped their standards of a man. Sometimes this guy ends up being the responsible, loyal protector. On occasion, he’s a raging alcoholic with a fresh shit-stain running down the center of his underwear, and he can’t seem to hold down a fucking job. Argue against this theory all you like. Just remember it was Freud who notoriously suggested that all of us want to bone our parents. 

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