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May 2024

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Breakup Sex: The Pleasures & Pitfalls
Featured Article

Breakup Sex: The Pleasures & Pitfalls

Sure, you might be tempted to get in one last bang with your ex, but beware—there are plenty of reasons why you might want to think twice.

It has been said that breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes the break just makes us hard. Yep—after the yelling, the blaming and the shaming, couples oftentimes have no other recourse to compensate for ruining a romance other than some good ol’ p-o-r-k-i-n-g. Diddling through the dissolution of a relationship—more commonly referred to as breakup sex—might not make a heck of a lot of sense to those who’ve never been there, but those who have engaged in the practice understand that nothing compares to boning someone who used to call you “babe” and also almost assuredly declared, “I hate your fucking guts” at some point before slamming the front door in a violent rage.

Yep, to make an ex squirm, squirt, pant and moan is sometimes the best way to achieve closure in these instances. It’s a sexual sayonara, a bone-voyage for the sake of posterity. At times, however, the breakup sex is a legendary exhibition that cleverly combines lust and loathing, making it memorable always and forever. Oh yeah, baby—getting a former partner on all fours and howling for one last night of nookie can make all the difference between a man sitting at home crying over lost love and a guy walking outside, pecker wet with pussy broth, fists raised in victory.

“I sent her home to the new guy with a back rash and an ass full of cum. Yeah, I felt better.”


You see, for some dudes, it’s not that they are losing a lover that really wrecks their emotions. Sure, they are heartbroken, but it’s really the fact that they didn’t fuck their girl to the best of their ability before she flung open the shithouse door and tossed them out that bothers them the most. Make no mistake about it, if you see a man whining over the departure of a significant other, what he’s really mourning is the inability to leave her in a quivering puddle of her juices before moving on. That’s one of those ego-crushing realizations that most men never get over.

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