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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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Barroom Balls
Featured Article

Barroom Balls

After years of dating-app dominance, traditional hookups out in the wild are poised to make a comeback. Are you prepared to go face-to-face again with your mating efforts?

These days, the horny and hungry for lovin’ are either on dating apps or sliding into someone’s DMs in search of action. While it could be argued that modern technology has ruined what was once charming about sexual society, it has undeniably made it easy for even the laziest of couch-bound slobs to get laid on occasion. All they have to do is whip out their trusty smartphones, swipe right a few times and—blammo!—a connection is made. And they don’t even need to leave the house to make it happen. 

This is a far cry from a time when the concupiscent cock had no choice but to hang out at a bar, chatting it up with a slew of women in hopes that one of them would be desperate enough to come back to his place. Some nights, he scored, but all too often the prowling pussy-hound ended up going home alone. Yet, the thrill of the hunt kept him going out, night after night. 

Unfortunately, the advent of dating apps has seemingly driven the concept of the traditional hookup into extinction. Getting it on has gone digital. It’s no longer socially acceptable, in most cases, for a man to approach a lady at a bar—or anywhere else, for that matter. Heck no, a lot of women, especially those among Gen Z, find these one-on-one advances offensive and creepy. “I went up to this girl a few months ago and she said, ‘Fuck off, creep,’ and I knew I was in trouble,” Paul, a 37-year-old, recently divorced man, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “I’ve used [dating apps]; they’re convenient, but it bugs me that we can’t talk to each other anymore without first matching on social media.”

Chin up, Paul. Perhaps, if we’re lucky, that day will return…and that might happen sooner than later.

As with everything from music to fashion, trends tend to come back around. Everyone thought heavy metal was dead in the 1990s, as Seattle’s grunge scene rose to popularity, yet the genre experienced a resurgence a few years down the line, making a full recovery. Hell, even the mullet and the mustache are back in fashion! So it is conceivable that a day will come when singles get bored with dating apps and embrace their bar-cruising roots once more in their quest for sex. 

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