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April 2024

Featuring Kendra Sunderland
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Slap-Happy Schlongs
Featured Article

Slap-Happy Schlongs

What compels a man to wield his boner like a billy club and bop his partner during sex? We dive deep into this puzzling phenomenon.

Any man gifted with at least an average-sized schlong has undoubtedly whipped that sucker out at some point and purposely banged it against something to make some noise. He might whack it against the bathroom sink in the morning to inspire self-confidence and give himself a little pep in his step when walking outside to take on the world. Bang! I am somebody, damnit! 

To be honest, we don’t know why some men feel compelled to give random objects a wallop with their meat mallets—they just do, especially during sex. Some guys have been known to seduce their women—or attempt to, anyway—by giving them a light rat-a-tat-tat on the forehead, mouth, nipples, eventually making their way down to the clit, just before sliding in for a rousing hump. Bap, bap, bap—y’all ready for this?

The illustrious cock slap is a technique that a lot of us have become familiarized with through porn. There’s often that one moment right before the dude commences with a hump-fest where he’s banging his throbbing staff on his scenemate’s clit, ultimately sending her eyes rolling to the back of her head in ecstasy as she prepares to take the pounding of a lifetime. 

“I feel like this is just another one of those things guys have seen in porn and think women like.”

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