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April 2024

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Proud Pounders
Featured Article

Proud Pounders

Whether it’s giving a partner countless orgasms or banging someone way out of your league, we all have a moment in our sexual past that makes our heart swell with pride. Read on as some lucky fuckers share their tales of carnal triumph.

We live in a society where accolades are given to talented people for all sorts of things: acting, performing music and even cooking. Awards are routinely given out to high-profile professionals to let them know that they’ve accomplished something special. Meanwhile, the rest of us poor schlubs rarely get recognized for our triumphs. Apparently, society seems to think that possessing an uncanny ability to drink in excess and jerk off with the enthusiasm of a young rhesus monkey is undeserving of applause, let alone a trophy. But this mentality is wrongheaded. There should be a commendation for debauchery in this land of miscreants and sexual progressives. Who better to laud, than those who have truly grabbed for the brass ring of carnality?

Almost everyone has a sexual feat of excellence they’ve achieved in life that brings them tremendous pride, whether it’s an act of awe-inspiring grandeur or just a muff-thumping memory they will always hold near and dear to their crotch. Maybe a guy seduced a cop’s wife, or banged the local beauty queen, or boned two sisters. Or perhaps he simply took a woman’s virginity or made a gal come on the first date. The scope of the deed doesn’t really matter. It’s all subjective—what’s important is that the act holds a place on the fucker’s sexual highlight reel.

“It’s nothing for me to get a woman off more than 20 times. I’ve had them tell me they lost count.”


For some guys, their sexual bragging rights stem from their ability to get their partners off so many times that an abacus would be required to keep track. “I’m talking more than 10 times [a session], not just in a night,” Kyler, 39, of Owatonna, Minnesota, tells “It’s nothing for me to get a woman off more than 20 times. I’ve had them tell me they lost count.” Damn, forget an award—it sounds like Kyler deserves a statue erected in the town square. 

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