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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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Pound-Time Playlists
Featured Article

Pound-Time Playlists

Why putting on some tunes in the bedroom can lead to more mind-blowing sex.

The whole of humping humanity has spent a lifetime trying to find ways to have more mind-blowing sex. They’ve taken the pills, tossed a slew of robo-rammers and poon pulverizers into the mix, and even said a few prayers when nobody was looking, only to find that none of these porking parlor tricks really get them any closer to hearing the voices of angels when they come. 

Yet, if only we took a more soulful approach to this kinky quest, we would see that it’s not the sweet, sonic serenade of invisible sky creatures that the naked and naughty should be after, but the sound of music. No, not the musical starring Julie Andrews—unless you want to watch your pee-pee shrivel up as fast as you can sing “do-re-mi.” A recent survey, however, suggests that slinging your ding-dong to a song might do the trick.

It has always been readily apparent that music fans are out there living more exciting lives than those tone-deaf weirdos who profess, “I don’t really get music.” Many of those who have found some semblance of salvation in song have embraced the rock ’n’ roll lifestyle, regardless of their preferred musical genre, engaging in drunken, promiscuous sex and even snorting the occasional line off the bathroom sink while getting plugged from behind. Likewise, a lot of these people have also brought their favorite tunes into the bedroom as a way to create a sensual soundscape for all their lustful and lascivious deeds. They’re the real studs, according to the sexual wellness site ZipHealth, which not only found that music lovers are having more satisfactory sexual experiences, but they are also probably mounting their mate longer than those that don’t. According to a recent survey conducted by ZipHealth, bringing tunes into the bedroom during a sex session has multiple benefits.

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