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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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Featured Article

Porking Pet Peeves

Whether it’s painful back scratches or an overly sweaty partner, most people have that one thing that ticks them off during sex. Here’s how to get past the nuisances and get back to aggravation-free boning.

There’s always someone doing something that drives us nuts, even in the bedroom. While there’s a load of sexual advice plastered across the Internet still seemingly trying to help Americans have more pleasurable sexual encounters—come on guys, how many decades have we been searching for the clit?—nobody is really digging into the displeasure of sex. Forget about who’s coming and who’s not for a second, and let’s discuss all the ways the people we get naked with are getting on our last fucking nerve. We’re talking about porking pet peeves.

It has been said that sex is like pizza. Some is better than others, but pizza is pizza—even a bad slice is better than none at all. That doesn’t mean we’re not painfully annoyed when reduced to eating a cheap, frozen slice because the place down the street that does the thing with the pepperoni we like decided to close early. People tend to experience a cringeworthy level of irritation when certain things happen, or when they don’t—even while doing the nasty. For Daria, a 32-year-old from Grand Rapids, Michigan, it’s the former that’s vexing in the most excruciating way. 

“I can’t stand to be spanked or get my hair pulled,” Daria tells HUSTLERMagazine.com. “I don’t understand why guys do that, I guess too much porn, but it does nothing for me besides pull me out of the moment.”

Plenty of other women have porking pet peeves. They might not mind a little spanking and hair pulling, but if a man slows down when she’s about to orgasm…well, that has all the makings of an international incident. “When a girl says she’s going to come, that’s not the time to change rhythm, or switch it up,” declares Kalyn from Clarksville, Tennessee. “I don’t care if you’re getting a charley horse and it has you writhing in pain, keep up the pace until I give the all-clear.”

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