Bits & Pieces

Articles with unfiltered opinions

Cartoons

Illustrated monthly funnies

Jokes

Dirty jokes for your dirty mind

Parodies

Unapologetic political satire

close slideout
Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
Magazine new arrow

August 2024

Featuring Ashby Winter
Join HUSTLER Magazine trial promo image

Intro Offer:
3 days for only $0.99!

Photo: Adam Eastland Art + Architecture / Alamy Stock Photo
Featured Article

The Long and Short of Penis Enlargement

If the average man was handed a magic wand with the mystical powers to grant him a single wish, you can bet your sweet ass that he wouldn’t waste it on world peace or a cure for cancer. Hell, no. That bastard is going to give himself a 12-inch pecker right out of the gate. Oorah! Men have spent thousands of years feeling inadequate about the size of their schlongs and just as long searching for some twisted voodoo to make them bigger.

They’ve beaten their boners against trees and even greased them up with miracle grow potions, all for a sliver of a chance to stand in front of the mirror like Long Dong the Magnificent. And no matter how many times women have tried to explain to these proportionally challenged weirdos, “It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it,” these little ding-a-lings refuse to believe them. After all, bigger is better in America, so it’s basically unpatriotic to have a small penis, right?

Well…

We’re going to shoot straight with you, fellas. Size does matter to some degree. It’s not quite as big of a deal as some dudes make it out to be, but the dimensions of one’s muff-thumper do play a role when delivering sexual pleasure. Dr. Lamia Gabal, a board-certified physician specializing in urology and restorative surgeries, tells HUSTLERMagazine.com that a man’s love pump can be too large or too small to facilitate a woman’s pleasure. Both are equally problematic.

penis enlargement
Photo: Adam Eastland Art + Architecture / Alamy Stock Photo

“A penis that is too big for a small vagina will cause pain and, therefore, lead to sex that is not enjoyable,” she says. “A penis that is too small for a certain vagina may also lead to sex that is not enjoyable, since neither partner will be adequately stimulated.

“A larger penis is not always the right answer,” Dr. Gabal adds. “It needs to fit the partner like a glove.”

To Access the Full Story

Unlock all articles, full galleries and digital magazines – 3 days for only $1.35.