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Latest HUSTLER Magazine cover issue
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August 2024

Featuring Ashby Winter
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Out of Your League?
Featured Article

Out of Your League?

Reluctant to approach that hottie you have your eye on because you think you don’t measure up? We have some good news for you.

Whether it’s a seedy bar or PTA meeting, you’ll clearly see that there are two types of people out there itching to get laid. 

There are, of course, the ordinary Josephines that we’re pretty sure we could sack with a bit of charisma and charm, as long as they are either single, unhappily married or looking to piss off their beer-bellied boyfriend for cheating on them with a Hooters girl. 

And then, there are those seemingly otherworldly specimens, the truly beautiful people, the Illuminati del Sexo, smoking-hot pieces of ass that most of us would never even dare approach in a million years, much less proposition for a blowjob in a bathroom stall. This seductive cult of cooter keeps a tight game, and it’s out of our league.

Those pretty bastards we’re all intimidated by are not born of the mother’s snatch like the rest of us. No sir, they are rumored to be manufactured in a factory somewhere in Southern California and then distributed all over the country to suck every last bit of hope out of horndog society. 

In short, they’re beyond our reach. Or are they?

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