December 2019

Featuring Scarlett Sage

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Nikki Glaser: Cuck Comic

Nikki Glaser’s favorite topic is sex, so it’s natural we hounded her for an interview in HUSTLER. And it’s fair to say the comic gets around. She’s hosted her own shows on MTV and Comedy Central, appeared in Jeff Ross and Dave Attell’s Bumping Mics, scored roles in Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck and I Feel Pretty and regularly tours performing stand-up. Plus, the comely comedian has made the rounds on the reality TV circuit in Dancing With the StarsAmerican Ninja Warrior and Last Comic Standing (twice!). The undeniably beautiful Ms. Glaser recently took the time to talk with us about her “weird vagina,” promote her new Netflix special and explain that, yeah, sure, she’s a “cuck.”


HUSTLER: You have a college degree in English literature. Was that part of your career plan toward becoming a stand-up?

NIKKI GLASER: Ha, yeah. I just chose English because I thought, Why not? I’m fluent! I literally chose that major because I wanted to do stand-up comedy and my parents wanted me to get a college degree, so I chose the path of least resistance. I thought, I know how to write a paper and can get away with not reading the books, just using SparkNotes and learning how to bullshit my way through an essay. I majored in bullshitting in college more than anything else.

Were you a funny kid?

I had a dark sense of humor as a kid, but I wasn’t the class clown. I would think of things to say all the time that I learned fairly early to not ever say, because people would look at me aghast, like, “Why did you just say that?” I got shamed a lot for my sense of humor. Then, when I first got into comedy, I was googling “female comedians,” saw Sarah Silverman, and I was like, Oh wow, there is a place in comedy for a sense of humor like mine!

But there are even times now that I say things that are too dark, and people just bristle. For the most part I’m grateful I don’t have a filter and that I do have such depressing, dark thoughts, because that’s almost my brand now. It’s a lot of honesty, and to be honest is to be dark. And now, with humanity’s prospects, my stuff gets darker and darker. Like who has time for bullshit anymore? We don’t have long to live.

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