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June 2024

Misha Cross and Agatha Vega
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Featured Article

Love Muscle, or Funny Bone?

In the quest to score pussy, what wins out—a cut physique or a sharp sense of humor? We explore this important question in the eternal battle of brains versus brawn.

Since the dawn of time, men have been searching for the secret to having more sex. They’ve read the books, watched every episode of The Pickup Artist, extensively studied those who’ve seemingly mastered the art of scoring poon and generally done everything they can think of to turn the heads and drop the drawers of horny women. Except, maybe, for one thing: stop being fat bastards. Although there is a wellness craze that has erupted in America that’s consistent with an all-around healthier lifestyle, one in three adults is still overweight, with a substantial number of those trickling into obesity. Perhaps that’s why some scientists claim Americans are having less sex these days—the ladies want to, but would rather not have to lift up a man’s gut to grab his dick.

New research indicates that there may be some truth to this conjecture. A recent study published in the academic journal Personality and Individual Differences finds that women are more likely to have sex with fit men. This presumably means that all a guy has to do to increase his chances of getting laid is to stop drinking so much beer every night, eat more boring foods and spend an hour or two a day lifting weights, doing cardio and giving his body a complete overhaul so he doesn’t look like the lump of dumpy shit. “Most women, I think, want a man who looks like he takes care of himself,” Sofia, 33, tells “If they aren’t fit, where else are they deficient? Fitness says a lot about a person.”

The Personality and Individual Differences study and Sofia’s testimony are consistent with prior findings. Previous studies have shown that women are more attracted to physically well-conditioned men than they might be to some puny-armed pipsqueak. Defined abs, chests and calves are just some of the physical attributes prized by the superficial. Some guys argue, however, that physical fitness is subjective. They may be devoid of chiseled features and dangerously low body fat percentages, but they are still plenty strong. “I bench 350 pounds, and I’m technically overweight,” Andre, a 32-year-old powerlifter, tells us. “I’m stronger than those shredded guys, but I’m just not as defined.”

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