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July 2024

Patriotism = Free Speech
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Like a Slut?
Featured Article

Like a Slut?

What does it mean when your partner asks to be screwed like a slut? We reached out to a group of women in search of answers.

One of the most seductive texts a woman can send a man in this day and age is, “When I get home, I want you to fuck me like a slut.” The sheer forwardness of such a message is enough to send any man into a fully erect state of jubilation. He’ll likely jump around the room screaming, ”Yippee!” like he used to do back in the day when his mother told him they were going to Chuck E. Cheese. This man has plenty of reason to rejoice. Not only is he about to get laid without needing to apply himself, but he gets to do her like a slut… whatever that means. 

And that’s just about the time that he realizes that, in fact, he has no clue what that means. That’s when the pound-time panic will set in. GULP! It won’t be long until this poor bastard is steeped in anxiety, and any erection that he may have had while dancing around the house will plummet into a droopy state of fear and inadequacy. 

You see, this man, like most guys, doesn’t have any idea what it means to fuck somebody like a slut. He was raised never to utter this slur, which has historically been used to demean women for embracing spread-legged sexual progressiveness, so the idea that his little love muffin now wants to be treated like one, well—it has him a tad confused. After all, what if his interpretation doesn’t align with hers? She might venture out in pursuit of someone with a better understanding of the definition. Oh yeah, this “fuck me like a slut” business might sound like heaping loads of fun, but if her hankering to get humped like a harlot gets lost in translation, that could drive the couple’s relationship over a steep cliff, right into a fiery pit of infidelity and ruin. 

Now, we understand; much like everything from asking for directions to requesting help with that home improvement project, most men won’t dare admit they’re clueless on this topic, so we reached out to the ladies to get some answers. What precisely does it mean when a woman tells her man to fuck her like a slut? Does it require cash, leather or maybe a dumpster out behind a Golden Corral? 

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